Keeping Contact with Kinship
If he has been wronged by his family and his brothers, does he have the right to limit his interaction with them to greeting them with salaam?If someone has been wronged by his family and brothers, and they are persisting in their attitude, does he have the right to reduce his interactions with them, and limit it to greeting them with salaam? Is that permissible, or is it regarded as shunning which is prohibited?
If she tries to reconcile with her sister but she does not accept it, will Allaah accept her deed?My sister is not speaking to me after we had an argument in which she was in the wrong. But I still spoke to her and greeted her with salaam, but she told me, I do not want to speak to you. Does it mean that my deeds are not accepted?.
Is the father’s wife among the relatives (rahm) with whom one is obliged to uphold ties of kinship?My father is married to someone other than my mother, and this woman has a son from another man. My father tells me and my siblings off for not asking about this woman. i.e., he wants us to speak to her, ask after her, visit her on Eid and he says that by not asking after her we are severing the ties of kinship. Is that true? Is not asking after someone regarded as severing the ties of kinship?.
Her husband’s sister is causing problems for themI am a married woman and mother of three children, and my husband fears Allaah and honours his parents. But my husband’s sister always causes problems between me and my husband, because she tells him a lot of lies which always causes us to argue and sometimes affects our marital life. But recently my husband has found out that she is in fact lying. This time things got very complicated, as she had the audacity to swear and revile and impugn my honour and that of my husband, and she incited his parents against him and me by fabricating lies so as to demonstrate her innocence. It should be noted that she is their only daughter, which gives her parents more reason to believe what she says, so they believed her and did not believe my husband. This has led to tension between my husband and his parents, and with me too. But despite all this he still upholds ties with his parents and his other siblings, except for her. Is there any sin on my husband for severing ties of kinship with her? Is she regarded as kin for me? Please note that I have tried in many ways, direct and indirect, to get close to her, such as giving her gifts, honouring her as a guest and so on, but now I want to keep away from her so as to avoid trouble between me and my husband’s family, so that I will not be a barrier between my husband and his parents. With regard to his parents, I want to remain in touch, but from a distance, such as getting in touch on special occasions. May Allaah reward you with good.
Molestation of mahramsMy paternal uncle molested me several times. And after that I told my father what had happened, but his reaction did not reflect the seriousness of what my uncle did to me. Now I see my father is on very good terms with my uncle, and he invites him to stay overnight with us in our house, and he treats him very kindly. I cannot stand this. What is the punishment for my father? And if I feel hatred towards my father, is there any sin on me?.
Is he obliged to attend the waleemah when there is someone there who will offend him with his words and actions?It is permissible for a Muslim to refuse an invitation to the waleemah (feast) of one of his relatives – who he usually sees all the time – because there will be some other people there who offend him with their words and actions? Is it permissible for a sister to reduce her contact with her older brothers because of what she sees of their negligence towards her and their lack of interest in her company? Please note that she never offends them with her words or actions, and they do not get in touch with her or know anything about how she is except through her husband or their wives. Does she have to uphold ties with them when they treat her like this?.
Does she have to visit the wife of one of her relatives?I am a person who fears Allaah – praise be to Allaah – and I hope that you can answer my question, because I am very keen to know whether I have to do something or not, because I fear my Creator. There is a woman who is the wife of one of my relatives, and she lives in the same province. As she is the wife of one of our relatives, she is regarded as one of us, but one day she caused a problem. I do not bear any grudge in my heart against her and I wish her well, her and her children and her husband. On every occasion, whether it is a celebration, Eid or a family gathering, I greet her and say salaams to her, but she does not visit me in my home and I do not visit her. Is there any sin on me? Am I regarded as severing ties of kinship? What do you advise me?.
His problems with his maternal uncle caused him to fail his exam; can he ask him for compensation?I am a 24 year old doctor. My problem started five years ago with my maternal uncle (45) when I was 19 years old. He used to come to our house every day and spend a few hours there without permission or asking permission (for two years in a row), in order to spend his free time there. There were problems and arguments between my father and my mother, and he was the cause of the unrest in the family. Every time I said to my mother “Why don’t we kick him out?” she would say, “That is not permissible.” My anger got so bad that I did not take my exams that year, and I failed that year, in protest at my uncle’s behaviour in our house. My uncle has gone, but the psychological problems and memories of not taking the exam that day are still with me. Every time I see my uncle on various occasions I feel very angry. My question is: What do you advise me to do? Can I ask for financial compensation from my uncle – even if it is only a little –for the psychological problems that I suffered so that we could restore the relationship between us, especially since I do not want to sever the ties of kinship? What is the Islamic position on this?.
Family problemsMy mother is a very pious lady. She is someone who measures our family success not by money or gold, but by the depth of our faith and the love that we share. Praise be to Allah. However, from my childhood, I've been seeing family conflict with her and my close relatives, such as my aunts (her sister-in-law), my cousins (daughters of her brother-in-law). Those relatives always make baseless slanderous remarks and they shamelessly lie. They are never thankful for my parents' contribution to the family; instead, they talk behind our back and make fun of her religious commitment. Still my mom tried to uphold the ties of kinship and was patient with them. Sometimes she complained to my father, saying why he doesn't ask his nieces to stop insulting her. But he never really did anything, saying that it might wreck the relationship forever and asked her to be patient. So my mom took the mistreatment, did opposite of which they have done to her, only to earn pleasure and mercy of Allah. But recently, the situation got worse and my cousins' husband insulted my father as a result of the fight. So my father has decided to cut off the relationship with them. And my aunt (my father's sister) also asked my mother to stop contacting with them. In the middle of this mess, I am really lost and I don't know how to deal with it. My parents asked me strictly not to contact with them. But knowing that those who cut off the family ties, Allah said that He will cut him off in the Day of Judgment, I talk to them once in a while; make phone calls on their birthdays, although they don’t. But I know that if my parents come to know this, they will get hurt and will be angry with me. I told my mother to forgive them and start contacting with them, and she says that she wants to, but she doesn't wanna go through the misery and the insults that she had to go through for years. And she says that she has been asked not to keep contact with them. What would be the correct way to deal with such a situation? Should I make an effort to uphold the kinship with the people who insulted my parents? How to put an end to this mess?.
Who are the kindred (arham) with whom one must uphold the ties of kinship?Allah, may He be exalted, and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) have enjoined the upholding of the ties of kinship. My question is: Who are the kindred with whom we must uphold the ties of kinship? Are they on the father’s side, the mother’s side or the wife’s side?.
He takes care of his paternal aunt and looks after her affairs – can she give him a gift to the exclusion of his siblings?I have an elderly paternal aunt who has a considerable amount of wealth and property that she inherited from her father. For nearly fifteen years I have been acting as her official representative (power of attorney) in administering her wealth and holdings. That was done with the agreement of my father. It is worth mentioning that my aunt has lived a very conservative life and she does not know how to read or write, and she cannot organize her affairs without my help. During the time when I have been acting as her representative she has treated me as if I am her only son, and I am the one who was disposing of her wealth and organizing her affairs with regard to accommodation, medical care and so on, unlike my twelve siblings, who do not uphold the ties of kinship with her at all except on social and religious occasions. My father has died and now my siblings and I are her only legitimate heirs. I have asked her, without the knowledge or agreement of my siblings, to register most of her property and wealth in my name and some in the name of one of my sisters and her son, who in fact is the husband of my daughter, so that he can help me in making living arrangements for her. She agreed to that and I did the registration for myself, my sister and her son. But my other siblings found out about that recently and they all started to blame me and accuse me of causing harm to my aunt and to them, and of taking advantage of the fact that my aunt is not qualified and that she does not know how to do things and she does not know how much her holdings are worth, and of being a bad steward of that which is under my care. They also accused me of going against the commands of Allaah and His Messenger. Is that regarded as going against the rulings of Islam in what I did with regard to the gift? Please note that it was done with the full knowledge and agreement of my aunt. Is it permissible for my other siblings to object to this gift? I hope that you can advise me how to avoid transgressing the sacred limits of Allaah if I have done anything wrong, so that I can set things straight and seek forgiveness of Allaah before it is too late.
Guidelines on the relatives with whom ties of kinship must be upheldIs the son of my paternal aunt one of the relatives with whom I must uphold ties of kinship?.
Their aunt wants to corrupt them; should they cut off ties with her?I have a problem with my aunt. She hurts our family and especially my mother, her sisters. She refuses to get married (she is almost 40), she lives on her own and goes to haram parties and weddings, she dresses unislamically and behaves in an unislamic manner and mixes with non-mahram men. She is suspicious of my mother and does bad things to my mother or us children. She is infected with Hepatitis and she tries to give me her disease on purpose by eating from my food or drinking from my cup or using my lip gloss when I don't know about it. She tells me she doesn't like my mother but pretends to be happy when my mother is around. She tries to make me go to the haram places she goes when I visit her. She cut off ties from the whole family and said that she hates everyone except us children but she treats us bad. She is always working for the needs of other women who backbite and look down on her and she does more for them than her own sisters and then she makes us kids work on things for those women. Me and my mother don't know what to do?? We can't cut off relations but the more we are around her the more my eemaan goes down and the more she hurts us. What should we do?.
Ruling on upholding ties with one’s mother and siblings through breastfeedingI have a mother and siblings through breastfeeding (radaa’ah). Do I have to uphold ties with them and visit them as I visit my mother and siblings through blood ties? I used to visit them, then it was said to me that I do not have to do that, and I am confused about that.
Rights of brothers and sistersWhat are the rights of brothers, sisters and parents on the man at the time .
Upholding the ties of kinship is obligatory to the extent that one is able to do itI have sisters who are married and my mother is married to someone other than my father, because my father is deceased. I work in the army and I want to go and see them but my circumstances do not permit it. I am also married and if I go there and leave my family, I would have to stay there for at least three days, during which time I would be worrying about my wife and children. Am I severing the ties of kinship, given that I have not been in touch with them for ten months?.
His Muslim wife’s relatives are kaafirs who mistreat herMe and my wife are in a delemma about our relatives. We both are the only muslims in among our families. I'm in very close family they are there when you need help they're very supportive of me. My wife family isn't close to her at all nor are they close to our kids.My wife brothers talks to her as she are garbage, they cheat her out of her money by telling her lies of deciet, they drink, and commit adultery, and her sisters on the other hand threaten her a lot by calling "DCFS," they call her liers about everything, they disregard everything she say, and they have gatherings and she's not invited, and they all hate Islam and talks negative about it.Where do draw the line and say enough is enough. I know Islam teaches us to be kind to our family members but how do you deal with family that don't respect you and criticize you all the time. My wife get angry at me when I tell her about them, even though she knows how they are. What makes me very angry is that my wife brothers say things to her and she makes excuses for them about why they treat her this way that if I were to say similar she would blow the roof off the house,and if I asked them why they talk to her that way she would accuse me of making fitna. How do I deal with matter or how should she deal with matter. please advise
Her husband will not let their children visit their kaafir grandparentsMy husband and my family do not get along, they are not muslim, although I have invited them many times, nor do they understand Islam. My husband wants to prevent my parents from seeing my children because he feels they have cursed Allah, although they have not done so. Is this allowed?
Is it permissible to attend family gatherings in which bid’ah takes place?When my family has any kind of occasion such as a wedding, circumcision or funeral, in the weddings and circumcision celebrations they use a drum and make ululations of joy, and on the occasion of a death they wail in an outrageous fashion. Should I go to these gatherings or not, when they do these bid’ahs (innovations)?
He visits his aunt and problems arise as a resultShould I visit my (paternal) aunt, knowing that she does not feel comfortable with me in her house, and after every visit she causes endless problems? In order to prevent further problems, I have decided not to visit her, but I greet her with salaams whenever I see her.