The one who has been away from his wife for a long time is told not to come to her suddenly

This hadeeth was not
narrated in these words, as far as we know, but it was proven that the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade the one who
has been absent for a long time from coming suddenly, and two reasons are
given for this ruling:  

1 –

So that the wife can
prepare herself by cleaning and adorning herself to receive her husband
after his lengthy absence. 

It was narrated that Jaabir
ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: We were with the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) on a
journey, and when we came to Madeenah we went to enter (the city), but he
said: “Slow down. We will enter in the evening so that the one who is
dishevelled may comb her hair and the one whose husband is away may shave
her pubes.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5079) and Muslim (715). 

[omit explanation] 

2 –

So that a man will not
destroy his household by accusing his wife. 

It was narrated that Jaabir
(may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade a man to come to his family at
night lest he appear to be showing distrust or seeking to catch them
unawares (doing something wrong). Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5243) and Muslim
(715). 

Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar said in
Fath al-Baari (9/123): 

The one who comes suddenly
after a lengthy absence usually finds something he dislikes. Either he finds
that his wife is not in the state of cleanliness and adornment that is
required of a woman, so that causes alienation between them, and this was
referred to in the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) in the hadeeth, “so that the woman whose husband has been
absent may shave her pubes and the one who is dishevelled may comb her
hair”;

Or he finds her in a state
that is displeasing. Islam encourages concealment of faults, and the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) referred to that when he
said: “lest he appear to be showing distrust or seeking to catch them
unawares (doing something wrong)” 

Ibn Abi Hamzah said: This
indicates that it is not allowed for a traveller to come suddenly to his
family at night, without any prior notification of his arrival. The reason
for that is what is referred to in the hadeeth: One of them went against
that and saw a man with his wife, so he was punished with that for going
against this order. 

Al-Haafiz said:  That is
also indicated by a hadeeth that was narrated by Ibn Khuzaymah from Ibn
‘Umar who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) forbade disturbing women at night. Two men did that and they
both found something with their wives that they disliked. 

He also narrated a similar
report from Ibn ‘Abbaas, in which it says: Each of them found a man with his
wife. End quote. 

Ibn al-‘Arabi (may Allaah
have mercy on him) denied that the reason for this prohibition was so that
one would not find a man with one’s wife, and he regarded the reports that
had been narrated concerning that as da’eef (weak). He (may Allaah have
mercy on him) said: 

I have heard from some
ignorant people – may Allaah forgive you for it and conceal it for you –
that the reason why the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) forbade them was lest the women be exposed, as happened to those who
went against the orders of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him). What has been narrated cannot be sound at all, and even if it
was sound, it could not indicate that the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) was pointing to this meaning. 

It is not proper for anyone
who has any knowledge of the aims of sharee’ah and the status of the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to regard that as sound.
End quote.  

‘Aaridah al-Ahwadhi
(5/365) 

And Allaah knows best.