Delaying Marriage in Islam

Question: 22107

I heard about your site from a friend and found it very very useful and full of information. so, I thank you very much for clearing up most of my misconceptions through it.

My question is regarding marriage .

My parents have accepted a proposal from a family but now they are delaying in fixing up dates . Although the man’s family wants everything to be done quickly, my parents are taking a lot of time. So what is the ruling on delaying a wedding when everything has been finalized.

Summary of answer

While Islam encourages timely marriage to safeguard chastity and uphold moral values, there may be circumstances that lead to a delay. However, such delays should not be prolonged unnecessarily, and communication with family is essential.

Answer

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah and his family.

We thank you for your kind words about our site, and we ask Allah to bless us and you with beneficial knowledge and righteous deeds.

If the situation is as you say, with your father having agreed and with the woman’s family being prepared, then everything is in place and there is no reason to delay this marriage.

Rather you should hasten to proceed with it, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford to get married, let him do so, and whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for that will be a shield for him.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari, 4778 and Muslim, 1400 from the Hadith of Ibn Mas`ud (may Allah be pleased with him))

But your father may have some reasons for delaying the marriage, which he may not want to tell you. So you should be patient and seek reward for that. You should also tell them of the virtue of hastening this good thing, because it will help you to lower your gaze and guard your chastity, even if that is done by doing the marriage contract and delaying consummation of the marriage, that is better than leaving it as an engagement.

You should note that the fiancé is still not a Mahram to his fiancée, and it is not permissible for him to do any more than look at her as much as the fiancé is permitted to look. But if he does the marriage contract with her, she becomes his wife and it is permissible for him to so everything with her that married people do, but it is better for him not to have intercourse with her until the marriage is announced, so as to ward off mischief, and in acknowledgement of the prevalent custom.

For more details, please see the following answers: 854, 75026, 74321, 193599, 87548, 175624.

And Allah knows best.

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