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How to start fair treatment between two wives

Question: 22218

If a man marries a second wife, how should he start fair treatment between his two wives?

Answer

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah and his family.

Ibn Qudaamah said: If he marries a virgin, he should stay with her for seven nights, then start alternating (between his wives). If he marries a previously-married woman, then he should stay with her for three nights. That is because Abu Qulaabah narrated that Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “It is part of the Sunnah, if a man marries a virgin after marrying a previously-married woman, that he should stay with her for seven days, then start sharing his time, and if he marries a previously-married woman, he should stay with her for three days, then start sharing his time.” Abu Qulaabah said: If you wish, you may say that Anas attributed this to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and it is agreed upon.  If the previously-married woman wants him to stay with her for seven days, then he should do that, and make it up to the other wives later on , because Umm Salamah narrated that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) stayed with her for three days, and he said, “You are not unimportant; if you want I can stay seven nights with you, but if I do that, I have to do likewise with the rest of my wives.” According to another version, “If you wish, I will stay with you for three nights, then I will alternate among you.” According to another report: “If you wish, I will stay with you for three nights exclusively for you.” 

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Source

Al-‘Iddah Sharh al-‘Umdah by Ibn Qudaamah al-Maqdisi, p. 479

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