How to Treat Your Wife in Islam

How to treat your wife

The husband has to treat his wife in a good and kind manner , and to spend on her food, drink, clothing and accommodation . Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“and live with them honourably.” [al-Nisa 4:19] 

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise.” [al-Baqarah 2:228] 

Ahmad (20025) and Abu Dawud (2142) narrated that Mu’awiyah ibn Haydah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, what are the rights of the wife of any one of us over him?” He said: “That you should feed her when you feed yourself, clothe her when you clothe yourself, you should not hit her on the face, you should not curse her and you should not forsake her except in the house.”

Al-Albani said concerning this hadith in Sahih Abi Dawud: “(It is) hasan sahih.” 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) enjoined good treatment of women in more than one hadith. Hence the husband has to fear Allah with regard to his wife, and give each person his or her rights. 

Does honouring parents conflict with treating a wife kindly?

Honouring one's parents and upholding the ties of kinship do not conflict with treating one's wife kindly and honouring her and taking care of her.  The best that can be mentioned concerning that is the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): “The best of you is the one who is best to his family, and I am the best of you to my family.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3895) and Ibn Majah, 1977; classed as sahih by al-Albani in Sahih al-Tirmidhi) 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) regarded being kind to one's family as being the criterion with regard to who is best. Whoever wants to be one of the best of the Muslims should be kind to his family, which includes being kind to one’s wife, children and relatives. 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “You will never spend anything, seeking thereby the Face of Allah, but you will be rewarded for it, even (the food) that you put in your wife’s mouth.” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 56) 

Examine why your husband treats you badly

You should examine the reasons for the shortcomings in the way he treats you; perhaps that is due to a shortcoming on your part with respect to his rights; perhaps you do not pay attention to him, or adorn yourself for him, or hasten to meet his needs. 

You should be more patient, because there is a lot of good in being patient and it brings a great deal of reward. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“and be patient. Surely, Allah is with those who are patient.” [al-Anfal 8:46] 

“Verily, he who fears Allah with obedience to Him (by abstaining from sins and evil deeds, and by performing righteous good deeds), and is patient, then surely, Allah makes not the reward of the good-doers to be lost.” [Yusuf 12:90] 

“So be patient. Surely, the (good) end is for the pious.” [Hud 11:49] 

We ask Allah to put our affairs and the affairs of all the Muslims straight. 

And Allah knows best.