Her husband did not respect her family and divorced her after the nikaah but before the wedding party
Question: 4318
I have a two part question.
First of all, I recently divorced from my husband. There were many reasons but the main
reason was that he disrespected my mother and father by talking to them very harshly not
once but several times. I figured if he could not respect my parents how could he possibly
respect me? I love my parents very much and I don’t like to see them hurt. My question is
what is a husband’s role in Islam in repect to his wife . Isn’t he suppose to respect her
family also? Once a woman gets married does it mean that the husband is first priority and
that her parents come in second?
Secondly, I only had the Nikkah done, the rukhsati was going to be in April but I still
lost my virginity. Now I fear my ex-husband will tell this in court which will be a cause
of extreme embarassment for me in front of my parents especially my father. According to
Islam, is it wrong to lose one’s virginity before rukhsati?
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah and his family.
The parents have great rights, but the husband has a
greater right. It is not permissible for either party to abuse the rights of the other. If
the wife thinks that her husband has wronged her parents, she should advise him and remind
him that the aayah (interpretation of the meaning), and live with them
[wives] honourably [al-Nisa 4:19] includes treating her family well
too, because that makes her happy, and it includes not harming them, because that upsets
her. By the same token, if one or both of her parents abuse her husbands rights, she
should advise them and remind them of the seriousness of backbiting, wrongdoing and
aggression. If they order her to do something and her husband orders her to do the
opposite, then her husband takes precedence, because his rights are greater in
shareeah. This does not mean that she should forget about their rights; this is the
guideline she should follow in cases where there is a conflict.
With regard to your second question, it is not haraam according to
shareeah for a man to have intercourse with his wife after the nikaah (conclusion of
the marriage contract) and before the wedding party. Whatever happened after the nikaah is
halaal (permissible), so there is no scandal involved and no need to fear the
consequences. If a man divorces his wife after the marriage has been consummated, then she
is entitled to keep the entire mahr (dowry)
If it is possible for mediators to try to bring you back together in
accordance with shareeah and following the proper etiquette, then this is better.
And Allaah is the source of strength.
Source:
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
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