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3263207/05/2004

He wants to get married but his parents want him to delay that

Question: 46532

What do you think a one should do who have high sexual desires who doesnt go out nor does anything to satisfy it. It is very distracting , constant thoughts in the head , I do want to get married but parents have high expectations, to become somebody first then think about settling.

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah and his family.

It is narrated in al-Bukhaari (5065) and Muslim (3384) that
‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to us: “O young men, whoever among you
can afford to get married, let him do so, for it is more effective in
lowering the gaze and preserving chastity. Whoever cannot afford it, let him
fast, for that will be a shield for him” – i.e., it will reduce and weaken
his desire. 

Based on this, if a person can afford to get married then he
should hasten to do so, because of the many benefits that this brings, as
mentioned by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him),
namely it helps him to lower his gaze and protect his chastity, increases
the numbers of the ummah and offers protection against temptation and
mischief. 

Ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “If I only
had ten days left to live and I knew that I was going to die on the last of
them, and I could afford to get married, I would get married, for fear of
fitnah (temptation).” 

Imam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Celibacy has
nothing to do with Islam at all.” 

If you fear hardship for yourself and that you may and fall
into sin, then in that case it is obligatory for you to get married. 

In this case parents are advised to arrange their son’s
marriage and not to stand in the way of his remaining chaste and protecting
himself from temptation. 

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah
have mercy on him) said: “With regard to marriage, people fall into three
categories. Some of them fear that they may fall into sin if they do not get
married, in which case it is obligatory to marry, according to the view of
most of the fuqaha’, because this will make a person remain chaste and
protect him from committing haraam actions; the only way to do is to get
married.” 

Al-Mughni, 9/341. 

You have to deal gently and kindly with your parents and try
to convince them of your need to get married, and tell them that this will
never conflict with what they want for you in the future. You can also seek
the help of wise people among your relatives to convince your parents. 

The questioner is to be commended for not going out to places
of fitnah (temptation) and not fulfilling his desires by haraam means. We
ask Allaah to make you steadfast and to help you to find a good wife who
will be a delight to you and your parents, for He is Ever-near and
Responsive.

And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Source

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