I am seeking to get married and I was reffered to a sister ho comes from a good family, has a lot of Qur’an memorized (By Allah’s Mercy.) She comes from a good family and she is of the same reace and same upbringing as I. I am not really attracted to her physically. She is attractive but not a lot to me. I wanted to know is her deen, good family, relationship with the Qur’an, proper dress, etc. sufficiant? Or maybe I should say, Allah knows best, however do you think that I should proceed? How much does physical attraction a factor? She is not bad looking but not as nice as I wanted, May Allah guide me.
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He has found a religious woman but he does not find her appearance attractive – should he marry her?
Question: 8391
Answer
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah and his family.
If you want to get married, then look for one who is religious, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) advised when he said: “Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper].” There is no reason why a man should not also look for other things, such as beauty etc., that will help him to keep his gaze lowered. This is something which should be taken into account. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) mentioned it when he said, “Women may be married for four things” – and he mentioned beauty as one of them. If you are afraid that you may treat this woman badly because you do not find her attractive, then do not go ahead and marry her. And Allaah knows best.
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Written by Shaykh ‘Abd al-Kareem al-Khudayr
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