Repentance From Backbiting and Informing Victim

The answer will depend on
the nature of the interests of the people involved. If the case is such that
if he were to inform them of what he had once said about them, it would not
be likely to increase their anger, then, he should do that and seek their
forgiveness. He may then tell them – in general terms, and without offering
details – that he had wronged them in the past by expressing such sentiments
about them that were not right and just, and that now he has repented and
seeks their forgiveness.

But if the case is the
opposite, that is, the fear is that if he told them of the previous
backbiting or slander, they will – and in most cases that is most likely to
happen – be angry with him, or will not be satisfied with the general terms,
rather, will demand to know all the details, which is sure to provoke them
to anger, then, in such a case, it is not obligatory on him to let them know
and seek their forgiveness for the sharee’ah (Islamic law) does not order
adding insult to injury. And informing a person who was in a happy mood, of
things that will evoke feelings of distress or anger, is something against
the purpose of the sharee’ah, which enjoins the spread of happiness and
brotherliness. In fact, sometimes such action may give place to animosity
where there was love. In such situations it is enough to repent in the
following manner.

Evoke
in oneself the feeling of regret, and seek forgiveness from Allah
accompanied by the conviction that it was an abominable and unlawful thing
in which he had indulged. Try and make up for what he had said earlier
before others by denying the presence of things and qualities he had alleged
were in them and clear the person or persons involved. Follow up by
mentioning and asserting good qualities of those he had spoken ill of in the
presence of the same people in whose company he had slandered them. Defend
the people he had slandered when they are slandered in his presence. Pray to
Allah in private to forgive the sins and shortcomings of those he had
wronged. (See Madarij Al-Salikin, and Al-Mughni with explanatory notes for
further elucidation).

You must note, dear
brother Muslim or sister Muslimah, that there is a difference between the
material rights of the people and non-material rights, between backbiting
and defamation. When the material rights are returned to the people, they
are put to some use and cause increase in happiness, and therefore they must
not be put under the mattress. Whereas non-material rights, such as those
concerning a man’s honor, when returned to the people can only cause
increase in distress.

And Allah knows best.