Children Wearing Short and Tight Clothes

Firstly:  

Ships that cross the ocean and
carry people cannot travel without a captain to navigate them
so that they will bring their passengers to the safe shore.
The Muslim family now is like a ship on a turbulent sea of
trials and tribulations and things that may lead to doom. The
enemies of Islam have united to weaken the Muslim family and
indeed to wipe it out, and they are using all possible means
to achieve that. These global conferences that move from one
country to another, led by global organisations and leaders,
have the sole aim of destroying the Muslim family, severing
its bonds, taking away its modesty and killing its chastity.
These satellite channels have a bad effect on the Muslim
family; these newspapers and magazines and other media are
all trying to achieve one goal that is obvious to any
observer. 

It is through these crashing
waves that the ship of the Muslim family must sail, and if it
does not have a wise and rational captain, then it will be
wrecked. 

The head of the family is the
captain of that ship. We do not blame any father who fears
temptation or corruption for his family and children. These
corruptions have become too many and too strong for the head
of the family to resist them on his own, so how about if that
is compounded by his wife not helping him in that? Indeed,
how will it be if she opposes him in his efforts to save the
family from these temptations and corruptions? 

You should understand that the
matter is not trivial and that you have to be the best help
to your husband in guiding the members of your family. Even
if you are not convinced of his rulings and decisions, you
should not oppose him or go against him, especially in front
of your children, because that will have an extremely bad
effect on the upbringing of your children. 

What the father wants from his
family members will be something supported and enjoined by an
Islamic text or something that he thinks is in the best
interests of his children, so he enjoins it because it is in
their best interests, or he forbids it because it is
detrimental to them. If there is any room for discussion with
regard to the latter issue, there is no room for discussion
with regard to the former, because sharee‘ah (Islamic law)
governs all our actions and we do not have the option of not
accepting it and implementing it. 

Secondly: 

You should understand that
Allah, may He be exalted, has commanded you and your husband
to protect yourselves against His Fire, and also to protect
your children. The matter is not trivial; rather it is
extremely serious. Your husband is not the only one who will
be asked about his flock; rather you will be asked likewise.
 

Allah says (interpretation of
the meaning):

“O you who believe! Ward off
yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel
is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern
(and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands
they receive from Allaah, but do that which they are
commanded”

[al-Tahreem
66:6]. 

It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allah
ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I heard the
Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
say: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is
responsible for his flock. The ruler of the people is a
shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the
shepherd of his household and is responsible for his flock. A
woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and children and
is responsible for her flock. The slave is the shepherd of
his master’s wealth and is responsible for it. Each of you is
a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his
flock.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (853)
and Muslim (1829). 

You should understand that
raising your children should not be done with harshness and
cruelty, nor should they be neglected. 

The scholars of the Standing
Committee were asked: What is the successful way for parents
to raise their children? 

They replied: The successful way
to raise children is the moderate or middle way, in which
there is no excessive strictness or neglect. There should be
no violence or harshness, and there should be no neglect or
carelessness. The father should raise his children, teach
them, direct them and guide them to good characteristics and
etiquette, and he should forbid to them every bad
characteristic or attitude. 

And Allah is the source of
strength; may Allah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet
Muhammad and his family and Companions. End
quote. 

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz,
Shaykh ‘Abd al-Razzaaq ‘Afeefi, Shaykh ‘Abd-Allah ibn
Ghadyaan 

Fataawa al-Lajnah
al-Daa’imah, 25/290,
291 

Thirdly: 

You should understand that Islam
enjoins you to teach your children to pray when they are
seven years old, and it enjoins you to separate them in their
beds when they are ten years old. This is so that they will
grow up in the best way and so that they will be righteous in
the future. Even if they are not yet accountable – because
they have not yet reached puberty – this does not mean that
their guardians and families should not instruct them to do
that which is in their best interests. The command here is
addressed to you, not to them. The matter here is what is
good for them and for you. 

In this way you can raise them
to have a good character and attitude in general, to be
modest and especially to be chaste. That also includes
instructing them to guard their chastity and not to wear
tight or short clothes. On the one hand, this has to do with
raising them to be modest and chaste; on the other hand it
has to do with preventing provocation of desire and
temptation in those who see them, whether they are members of
the family or relatives – for example. Islam cannot enjoin
you to separate them in their beds and then allow you to let
them wear short and tight clothes all the time they are
awake! So think about this and beware lest you be the cause
of fitnah (temptation) and corruption for which all the water
in the sea could not provide sufficient tears and which would
lead to great sorrow and regret.  

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih
al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked:

We often see in women’s
gatherings girls and young girls, around the age of seven
years, wearing short or tight clothes, or strange haircuts,
or haircuts for small girls that look like haircuts for boys.
If we speak to the mothers and try to advise them, they argue
that the children are still small. We hope that you can give
us clear advice about children’s clothing and haircuts, may
Allah bless you. 

He replied:

It is well known that the
individual is influenced by things in his childhood and will
continue to be affected by them after he grows up. Hence the
Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) enjoined
us to instruct our children to pray when they are seven years
old, and to smack them (lightly) if they do not pray when
they reach the age of ten, so that they will get used to it,
as the child will follow that which he is used to. If a young
girl gets used to wearing short clothes that only come to the
knee, and short sleeves that only come to the elbow or
shoulder, she will lose all modesty and will want to wear
these clothes after she grows up. The same applies with
regard to hair; a woman should have a hairstyle that is
different from that of men; if she makes the hair like a
man’s hair, she will be resembling men and the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) cursed women who
resemble men. 

It should be noted that the
family is responsible for these children and their upbringing
and education, as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah
be upon him) said: “A man is the shepherd of his household
and is responsible for his flock.” So beware of being
heedless; the father should be serious about the upbringing
of his sons and daughters, and he should care for them, so
that Allah will guide them and they will become a delight to
him. End quote. 

Al-Liqa’
al-Shahri,
66/10 

Fourthly: 

If a girl is brought up from an
early age to be modest and chaste and to cover herself, she
will be the one who wants to wear the abayah and khimaar
(head cover), even before she reaches puberty. But if she
grows up not wearing clothes that cover, and her family fell
short when she was small, they (now) have to persist in
advising and reminding her. If that does not convince her,
then harsher measures may be used, sparingly, to prevent her
from doing what she wants, so that she will have no room to
do whatever she wants with regard to this matter and others,
because if they keep quiet about her clothing, because she
refuses to wear the abayah or covering clothes, she will dare
to do other things. This is a signal that the ship is about
to sink! Because decisions are now in the hands of the
children. At the beginning, we advocated gentleness and
kindness, not despairing of the child being set straight, and
not using harsh methods except when the wise captain sees
fit. 

The Standing Committee for
Issuing Fatwas was asked: At what age is a girl obliged to
wear hijab (dress code stipulated for mature girls in Islam)?
Should we force (female) students to wear it, even though
they object? 

They replied: 

When a girl reaches puberty, it
becomes obligatory for her to wear clothes that will cover
her ‘awrah (parts of the body which must be covered), which
includes the face, head and hands, whether she is a student
or not. Her guardian should instruct her to do that, even if
she dislikes it, and he should train her to do that before
she reaches puberty, so that she will get used to it, and it
will be easy for her to obey. 

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz,
Shaykh ‘Abd al-Razzaaq ‘Afeefi, Shaykh ‘Abd-Allah ibn
Ghadyaan, Shaykh ‘Abd-Allah ibn Qa‘ood 

End quote. 

Fataawa al-Lajnah
al-Daa’imah, 17/219,
220 

So be the best help to your
husband in obeying Allah and raising your children, and
beware of following in the footsteps of the enemies of Islam
in describing adherence to sharee‘ah as extreme strictness.
Whatever your husband falls short in with regard to himself,
advise him and exhort him, and remind him to fear Allah, the
Lord of the Worlds; do not take his shortcomings as an excuse
for your children’s shortcomings. Seek the help of Allah,
your Lord, to fulfil this trust in the best manner. We ask
Allah, may He be exalted, to help you to do that which
pleases Him. 

In the answer to question no.
10016 we have discussed
how to raise children to be righteous. 

In the answer to question no.
10211 we have discussed
the correct way to teach small children and call them to
Islam. 

And Allah knows
best.