The hadeeth about the woman who did not want the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) to come near her

Firstly: 

This story is saheeh (sound) and was
narrated in several hadeeths and contexts which confirm one another: 

It was narrated by al-Bukhaari (may Allah
have mercy on him) in his Saheeh (5254) from Imam al-Awzaa‘i who
said: I asked az-Zuhri which of the wives of the Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) sought refuge with Allah from him? He said:
‘Urwah told me, from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) that when the
daughter of al-Jawn was brought in (as a bride) to the Messenger of Allah
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and he came close to her, she
said: “I seek refuge with Allah from you.” So he said to her: “You have
sought refuge with One Who is great; go back to your family.” 

It was also narrated by al-Bukhaari in his
Saheeh (5255) that Abu Usayd (may Allah be pleased with him) said: 

We went out with the Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) and came to a garden called ash-Shawt; we came
to two walls and sat between them. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah
be upon him) said: “Sit here,” and he went in (to the garden). al-Jawniyyah
had been brought and lodged in a house in a date-palm garden in the house of
Umaymah bint an-Nu‘maan ibn Sharaaheel, and her maid was with her. When the
Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) entered upon her, he
said: “Give yourself to me (in marriage).” She said: Would a queen give
herself to an ordinary man? He stretched out his hand to pat her so that she
might calm down, but she said: I seek refuge with Allah from you. He said:
“You have sought refuge with One who gives refuge.” Then he came out to us
and said: “O Abu Usayd, give her two garments of white linen and take her to
her family.” 

He (may Allah have mercy on him) also
narrated (no. 5256) from ‘Abbaas ibn Sahl from his father, and from Abu
Usayd, that they said: The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) married Umaymah bint Sharaaheel. When she was brought in to him, he
reached out his hand towards her, and it was as if she disliked that. So he
instructed Abu Usayd to give her her trousseau and give her two garments of
white linen. 

He (may Allah have mercy on him) also
narrated (no. 5637) that Sahl ibn Sa‘d (may Allah be pleased with him)
said: 

Mention was made to the Prophet (blessings
and peace of Allah be upon him) of a woman among the Arabs, and he
instructed Abu Usayd as-Saa‘idi to send for her. He sent for her and she
came and stayed in the fortress of Bani Saa‘idah. The Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) set out and went to her, and entered upon her,
and he saw a woman with her head lowered. When the Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) spoke to her, she said: I seek refuge with Allah
from you. He said: “You are protected from me.” They said to her: Do you
know who this is? She said: No. They said: This is the Messenger of Allah
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) who came to propose marriage to
you. She said: Then I am most unfortunate. On that day, the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) came and sat in the pavilion of
Banu Saa‘idah, along with his companions, then he said: Give us something to
drink, O Sahl. So I brought this vessel out to them and gave them something
to drink from it. Sahl brought that vessel out to us and we drank from it.
Then after that ‘Umar ibn ‘Abd al-‘Azeez asked him to give it to him as a
gift, and he gave it to him.

It was also narrated by Muslim (2007). 

Secondly: 

The scholars differed as to the name of this
woman, and there were seven views, but the most correct of them according to
the majority of scholars is that her name was Umaymah bint an-Nu‘maan ibn
Sharaaheel, as is stated clearly in the hadeeth of Abu Usayd. It was also
said that her name was Asma’. 

Thirdly: 

Why did the Jawni woman seek refuge with
Allah from the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him)? 

This may be answered by one of the following
suggestions: 

~1~ 

That she did not recognise the Messenger of
Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), based on the last hadeeth
quoted above, in which it says: They said to her: Do you know who this is?
She said: No. They said: This is the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace
of Allah be upon him) who came to propose marriage to you. She said: Then I
am most unfortunate. 

Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on
him) said: 

Others said: It may be that she did not
recognise him (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), so she said these
words to him. 

However the context of the story when all
its narrations are taken into account indicates that this suggestion is not
possible. 

Then he said:

If the story referred to one incident, his
words “Take her back to her family”, and his words in the hadeeth narrated
by ‘Aa’ishah, “Go back to your family”, would not count as a divorce
(talaaq). It must be that she did not know who he was. 

If these reports refer to different
scenarios – and there is no reason why that should not be the case – then
perhaps this woman was the Kilaabi woman concerning whom there was some
scholarly dispute. End quote. 

Fath al-Baari
(9/358). 

~2~ 

Some of the scholars say that the reason why
she sought refuge with Allah from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah
be upon him) is that some of his wives played a trick on her, by making her
think that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) would like
these words, so she said that wanting to endear herself to him, and she did
not realise that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
would give her protection from him by separating from her if he heard those
words from her. 

That is mentioned via three isnaads: 

(i)

it was narrated by Ibn Sa‘d in
at-Tabaqaat (8/143-148) and al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak (4/39) via
Muhammad ibn ‘Umar al-Waaqidi, who is da‘eef in hadeeth. 

(ii)

it was narrated by Ibn Sa‘d in
at-Tabaqaat with his isnaad from Sa‘eed ibn ‘Abd ar-Rahmaan ibn Abza,
who said: The Jawni woman sought refuge with Allah from the Messenger of
Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and it was said to her:
This will endear you to him. And no woman sought refuge with Allah from him
except her. But she was tricked because she was seen to be beautiful and
good-looking. The Messenger of Allah was told about those who had made her
say what she said to the Messenger of Allah, and the Messenger of Allah
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “They are (like) the women
who were around Yoosuf.” 

(iii)

It was narrated by Ibn Sa‘d, also in
at-Tabaqaat (8/145). He said: Hishaam ibn Muhammad ibn as-Saa’ib told
us, from his father, from Abu Saalih, from Ibn ‘Abbaas, who said: The
Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) married Asma’
bint an-Nu‘maan, who was one of the most beautiful and youthful-looking
people of her time. When the Messenger of Allah began to marry women from
different tribes, ‘Aa’ishah said: He has started to choose wives from other
tribes, and soon they will make him lose interest in us. He asked her father
for her hand in marriage when the delegation of Kindah came to him. When the
wives of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) saw her,
they felt jealous of her and said to her: If you want to endear yourself to
him, then seek refuge with Allah from him when he enters upon you. When he
entered and let the curtain drop, he reached out to her and she said: I seek
refuge with Allah from you. He said: “The one who seeks refuge with Allah
will be granted safety; go back to your family.” 

He also narrated another version: Hishaam
ibn Muhammad told us: Ibn al-Ghaseel told me, from Hamzah ibn Abi Usayd
as-Saa‘idi, from his father – who had been present at Badr – who said: The
Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) married Asma’
bint an-Nu‘maan al-Jawniyyah; he sent me and I brought her. Hafsah said to
‘Aa’ishah, or ‘Aa’ishah said to Hafsah: Dye her hair, and I will comb it. So
they did that, then one of them said to her: The Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) likes it when he enters upon a woman for her to
say, I seek refuge with Allah from you. So when she was brought in to him,
and he closed the door and let the curtain drop, he reached out towards her
and she said: I seek refuge with Allah from you. He put his sleeve on his
face and he covered himself with it, and said: “You are protected from me”,
three times. Abu Usayd said: Then he came out to me and said: O Abu Usayd,
take her to her family and give her two garments of white linen. And she
used to say: I am most unfortunate. 

These isnaads support one another and when
taken together prove that there is a basis for this scenario. 

~3~ 

Other scholars say that the reason why she
sought refuge with Allah was her arrogance, because she was beautiful and
came from one of the kingly Arab families, and she did not want to marry
anyone who was not a king. This is supported by the report mentioned above,
in which it says: When the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) entered upon her, he said: “Give yourself to me (in marriage).” She
said: Would a queen give herself to an ordinary man? He stretched out his
hand to pat her so that she might calm down, but she said: I seek refuge
with Allah from you. He said: “You have sought refuge with One who gives
refuge.” Then he came out to us and said: “O Abu Usayd, give her two
garments of white linen and take her to her family.” 

al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on
him) said: 

“ordinary man”: … Ibn al-Muneer said: This
was a remnant of Jaahili attitudes that was still present in her. In their
view the ordinary man was anyone who was not a king, no matter who he was.
So it was as if she regarded it as unlikely that a queen would marry anyone
who was not a king. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
was given the option of being a king-Prophet, but he chose to be a
slave-Prophet, out of humility towards his Lord. But the Prophet (blessings
and peace of Allah be upon him) did not take her to task for what she said,
and excused her because she had only recently left the time of Jaahiliyyah
behind. End quote. 

Fath al-Baari
(9/358) 

This is what may be said about the reasons
mentioned in the reports and in the words of the scholars. All of it points
to the noble attitude of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him), because he did not want to marry somebody who he felt did not want
him, and he refused to harm any of the Muslims either physically or
financially. 

And Allah knows best.