She is concealing her Islam from her family in China; can she visit them without hijab, and wearing pants?
Question: 129423
My wife is Chinese and converted to islam 3 years ago walhamduliLlah. She did not observe the hijab or pray at first but for a year now, she prays and observes the hijab, Ramadan, Hajj, & zakat. There is just one problem. She did not tell her family that she became a Muslim and when we go to visit them 4 times a year for a few days, she does not wear the hijab and sometimes she puts on a hat to cover her hair when she goes out. She also wears pants sometimes when she’s visiting her family. Lastly, one in a while we have to go out to a chinese restaurant and eat. They do not order pork or alcohol out of respect for me. She does not want to tell her family or explain to them so that she may not inconvenience them. As a husband, i am afraid that if I let her do that I may be considered a DAYOUTH and bear the sin along with her. On the other hand, if I try to force her to do that there may be repercussions on the family as we have 4 children walhamduliLlah. Please note that I am planning to move out of the kuffar country to the Muslm land in about year Inshaa Allah so that these problems are no longer there or absolutely minimal. Please advise as to the food in the restaurant and the hijab/dress issues.
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah and his family.
Firstly:
We praise Allaah for having blessed your wife with guidance
and choosing her to be one of the Muslims. This is a great and precious
blessing which should be protected and nurtured. Try to support her in
learning the rulings of Islam, strengthening her faith by doing acts of
obedience and keeping away from sin. We ask Allaah to enable you to do all
that is good.
Secondly:
We do not think that she has any excuse for uncovering her
head or for wearing pants, unless she is afraid that her family will harm
her if they find out about her being Muslim. Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
“Verily, as for those whom the angels take (in death)
while they are wronging themselves (as they stayed among the disbelievers
even though emigration was obligatory for them), they (angels) say (to
them): ‘In what (condition) were you?’ They reply: ‘We were weak and
oppressed on the earth.’ They (angels) say: ‘Was not the earth of Allaah
spacious enough for you to emigrate therein?’ Such men will find their abode
in Hell — what an evil destination!
98. Except the weak ones among men, women and children who
cannot devise a plan, nor are they able to direct their way”
[al-Nisa’ 4:97, 98]
Your wife — as it appears to us from what you say — is not
one of those who are weak and oppressed, because she is not living with her
family and she has nothing to fear from them; rather the most that can be
said is that she is afraid of her ties with them being severed.
Al-Aloosi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
What is meant is that they tried to justify their
shortcomings in showing their Islam openly and falling short in carrying out
their religious duties on the grounds that they were weak and oppressed,
which was why they could not carry out their religious duties among the
people of Makkah; therefore they did not do much. Or they made excuses for
not going out with them [the Muslims, to Madeenah] and becoming a part of
their [Muslim] community on the grounds that they were helpless and under
the control of the non-Muslims of Makkah. Whatever the case, the angels did
not accept this from them.
Tafseer al-Aloosi, 4/196
And he (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Every believer who finds himself in a place where he cannot
show his religion openly because of the opposition of those who are not
Muslims is obliged to migrate to a place where he can show his religion
openly. It is not permissible for him at all to stay there and conceal his
religion and to make the excuse that he is weak and oppressed, because
Allaah’s earth is vast and spacious.
Yes, if he is one of those who have a shar’i excuse for not
migrating, such as children, women, the blind, those who are detained, those
whom the non-Muslims scare with threats to kill them or to kill their
children or fathers or mothers, in cases where he thinks that what they are
scaring him with is most likely to happen — whether that killing is by
beheading, withholding food and so on — then in that case it is permissible
for him to stay with the non-Muslims and to go along with them as much it is
necessary, but he must strive to find ways to escape and flee for the sake
of his religion. End quote.
Tafseer al-Aloosi, 2/479
What we advise you to do — if your wife is not afraid that
she may be harmed by her family — is to tell them that she has become
Muslim and to send someone to them to inform them about that, and to
continue to uphold ties with them and treat them kindly.
Perhaps one of the greatest benefits of her showing her Islam
openly is that she will become keen to call her family to Islam and she will
start to look for suitable ways to do that, such as corresponding with them,
talking to them, and sending them audiovisual materials on Islam. Perhaps
Allaah will guide them to enter Islam, and that will be included in the
balance of your good deeds. Thus your wife will be safe from committing
those haraam actions, she will have established proof against her family,
she will have discharged her responsibilities before Allaah and she will
have striven to guide them and save them, because it is not right for her to
have the blessing of Islam and deprive her family of it.
We ask Allaah to help and guide you.
And Allaah knows best.
Source:
Islam Q&A
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