Dealing With Homosexual Brother-In-Law

If it is proven that your brother’s husband is as you
describe him and that he is a homosexual and does the action of the people
of Loot, then it is not permissible – in this case – for your husband to
admit him to his house, let alone allow him to meet his sons. It is also not
permissible for him to ask you to show respect to him, because he is not one
of those who are deserving of respect; rather he is one of those who are
deserving of rebuke and shunning, and he deserves to be shown hostility
because of what he is, not to be respected, because what he is doing is a
grave evil, immorality, and act of disobedience. The major sin that he is
doing – if it is proven – is one of the most horrid and repulsive of major
sins. Hence those who do it are deserving of the greatest punishment such as
landslides, stoning and drowning such as no nation of disbelievers were
punished with before or since. 

Ibn al-Qayyim narrated – in Zaad al-Ma‘aad (5/40) –
from his shaykh, Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him), that the Sahaabah (companions of the Prophet) were unanimously agreed that the one who does the action of the people of Loot is to be executed; they only differed as to the manner of
execution. 

Regarding the serious nature of the sin of homosexuality and
the punishment for the one who does it, please see the answer to questions
no. 38622,
2104 and
10050

Hence we agree with you in your stance about him entering
your house, and we also agree with you about the kind of treatment that he
deserves. So do not hesitate to prevent him from entering the house in the
first place, let alone staying there. What your husband has to do is to take
the decision himself; rather he should have taken a decision before you did,
because Islam has given him the responsibility of taking care of his family,
looking after them and advising them. His giving permission to his
homosexual brother to enter his house and meet his sons, and asking his wife
to show respect to him – all of that is contrary to the obligations that
Allah has given him of protecting his family and taking care of them. It is a kind of haraam (unlawful) betrayal of his flock for whom Allah has made him responsible. 

But if it so happens that this homosexual has repented
sincerely before he enters your house or stays there, and he shows you that
he has truly repented and mended his ways, then in that case there is
nothing wrong with him entering the house, provided that the wife does not
appear before him or mix with him or spend time alone with him; these
actions are basically forbidden even if the person is pious. He is still the
“in-law” whom Islam warns about. We have explained in more than one answer
the seriousness of this problem, how widespread it is and how people are
heedless concerning it. So in the case of a person like this, it is
essential to deal with him, even after his repentance, with the greatest
caution and to block all ways that may lead to evil and temptation. 

See the answers to questions no.
7650,
129302,
13261 and
47764 

Let your husband also read the answer to question no. 147901
in which there is discussion of what the brother’s responsibilities are
towards his homosexual brother. 

And Allah knows best.