Psychological and Social Problems
Questions about the status of women and why the woman is lacking in reason and about her being created from a ribI know that Islam honours women, and I do not deny that. But the only thing is that there are some religious texts that I am confused about. For example, the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) explained in what way women are lacking in reason when giving testimony. Why do some scholars interpret this lack of reason and apply it to all matters, not only to the issue of giving testimony? Can the words of the Prophet, “that is because of her lack of reason and her lack of religious commitment” be understood as meaning that there are also other ways in which she is lacking other than what is mentioned? How do you expect the Muslim woman to feel when she reads something like the words of Imam an-Nawawi in his explanation of the hadith, which mentions that women are lacking in reason and religious commitment, as he says: “And one should bear patiently their crooked behaviour and manner”, as if all woman behave badly and men should put up with their lack of reason? And Imam Ibn Hajar advises men to: “show kindness to avoid trouble.” In fact, more than one scholar used this phrase, “show kindness to avoid trouble.” It is as if they are talking about someone who has a mental illness or is completely insane! We women are capable of thinking, we are able to manage our lives, we are able to understand what is happening, and we seek knowledge, praise be to Allah. So why are we viewed in this manner? It is well known that good manners and good attitudes are more common in girls, so explain to me the hadith about the rib; if a woman is polite and righteous, how could she be crooked? One may say that this is rare, and no judgement is to be based on what is rare, so are good attitudes and religious commitment rare in women? It says in a report, “She will never be consistent with you.” But all people are like that; they cannot remain consistent. So why are women singled out for this? And many more questions spring to mind when I read the Qur’an and tafsir. I try to ignore these thoughts, but they keep coming back to my mind. That is why I am asking, so that I may have peace of mind. Before, I used to reject specious arguments (against Islam). I hope that you will be generous and give a detailed answer to every point in my question, because a general, brief answer will not solve my problem.
Is it permissible to put the sperm of the husband and the egg from the wife in the womb of the second wife?“Ahmad” has two wives, the first one cannot have children and the second one can have children, praise be to Allaah. In the modern scientific age doctors can, by the grace of Allaah, put an egg from the second wife with the husband’s sperm (test-tube baby) and mix them and let them start to grow, then place (the fertilized egg) in the womb of the wife who cannot have children, so that the child can grow until he is born. Is this permissible in the light of the Qur’aan and Sunnah? Some people say that it permissible by analogy with breastfeeding, i.e., just as it is permissible to nourish a child with her milk in her lap, it should also be permissible for her to nourish him with her blood in her womb.
Family problems because a Muslim woman wants to marry a Christian manI am a muslim women who want's to marry a christain man I am not a relgious person but, my family is and I am having a very hard time this matter. I've known this person for ten years. My parents are not really religious but my father is afraid of his mother and what they are going to say about his daughter marrying a christian man. my husband to be has converted to the islamic religion but according to my partents and family this is not good enough. please help what should i do. my husband to be is aware of childeren and also is aware that they will be taught the islamic religion.
How to form friendshipsI am a young woman, twenty years old, studying at university. My problem is that I do not have any friends. I go to the college every day, and I do not speak to anyone and no one speaks to me. Even though I love people and treat them kindly, and everyone says that I am polite, no one makes friends with me. I do not even know the names of the other students with me. Every day I cry about this matter. I tried to console myself by watching YouTube, but unfortunately I became infatuated with someone who is famous on social media sites, and he is a non-Muslim. I fell in love with him and I know everything about him, even though I know that a person will be gathered (on the Day of Resurrection) with those whom he loves, and that a person will follow the religion of his close friends. I have tried many times to stop watching his videos, but I could not stop, because they are interesting and entertaining. Please note that the videos that he makes contain some foul language and talk that is not appropriate.
Treating the husband’s addiction to pornographyI am a woman who has been married for a month and a half. I found out that my husband looks at pornography, and I feel very bitter and sad, and my life has changed from happiness to misery. I love my husband, but I cannot accept this situation. I live abroad with him, and I was hoping that he would be an ideal husband for me. I do not deny that he treats me kindly, but I deteriorated psychologically after I found out about this matter. I am always crying and am always silent, which is completely out of character for me. I thought of going to a psychologist who could help me to solve my problem, but because I live in the West and I have no friends here, it is difficult for me to go without telling my husband, because I do not want him to know that I am seeking help from a specialist doctor. He also told me that he is a smoker, and I did not know that before I got married or even for a while after I got married. I have begun to think that he is not enjoying intimacy with me, or he is not happy with me. I hope that you can help me know how to deal with my husband. Does his looking at pictures and clips of the third sex, who look like women but have male genitalia, mean that he is homosexual?
She is suffering because of problems in the relationship between her and her husband, and she wants adviceI have been married for 5 years. I have not been nearly a good wife to my husband, but I have sacrificed a lot for our marriage. I worked along side of him and have always supported him but wasnt a good housewife and had always been behind with my chores. Unfortunately now our relationship is in a big crisis and I seek your support. My husband has always been critical towards me but now things are becoming worse, he criticises me about everything and says that i never listen to him. We recently had a baby and thats mainly when things became more serious. I feel bad because we are always arguing around her and i know this is not good for her future. My husband always asks his brother who is a doctor for advice and leaves out my opinion as second hand. He hates it when I ask my mother for advice because they are not in good relationship. Please give me guidance on the above. I also have a few additional questions below: If my mother disrespected my husband in his house, how was he supposed to respond, conaidering he was disrespected before. What is the islamic view on mothers instinct and according to islam is there such a thing as father's instinct? What can I do if my husband always sees faults in me?
I did not let my husband read a message from my friend, and he got angryI have none to talk to about his. I come from a non muslim family and my husbands family doesnt live here. It started with an argument I had with a sister and she sent me text messages that upset me. At first I reacted angry and my Iman got low. I asked my husband for advice. Then he wanted to read the messages but I realised Shaitan was playing a trick with me to make me indulge in backbiting and slander. I messaged a nice message back to the sister which the day after regretted her action and asked to be friends again. Alhamdulillah. Although my husband has turned the home upside down, behaving the worst and calling me all sorts of bad names - eventbolaget front of the children, and he does have a bad temper. All because I regretted involving him and said he does not need to read the sisters messages. (This is not the first time he behave like this). Does a husband have the right to read wifes messages, mails and letters from others, if he do, from who and when does he have this right? Was I wrong who did not show the message to him? He have psychically abused me for a week now, in front of the children and I have also had my period the whole time. Now I am so tired and ready to leave this marriage, please is there a solution to our problem and what does Quean and Sunnah mention about this?
Her son apostatised from Islam and refuses to come back to the faithI am from a religiously committed Muslim family. I have an uncle (my mother’s brother) who migrated to France to study at the age of twenty years. He settled there and is still living there, and he refused to come back to our country. He has been living there for thirty-five years, and unfortunately he has deviated from the religion of Islam. He stopped praying and fasting, and he does not even believe in the religion of Islam, and does not even follow any other religion. After my grandfather died, my grandmother travelled to visit him, and she decided to live with him and his Christian wife and children, who do not know anything about Islam. After staying with him for ten years, she tried to bring him back to the right path and persuade him to repent, but unfortunately it was without success. Until now she is asking: is there any sin on her and will she be brought to account on the Day of Resurrection for her son’s going astray from the religion of Islam?
How should the family deal with a disobedient son?How should a son who is disobedient towards his parents be dealt with? How should they deal with a son who threatens to kill his mother and challenges his parents, and accuses his sister of promiscuity and zina, causes scandal for his family, and always argues with guests, insulting them, reviling them and threatening them?
Signs of Death in IslamAre there any signs before a person dies, whether he is a believer or a disbeliever? Are there any specific times for those signs? If it becomes apparent to him that his death is approaching, what should he do? When should we pay attention to these signs if there is such a thing? Is there any way to reduce the agonies of death? What are the best righteous deeds that one may be advised to adhere to?
He suffers from compulsive waswaas and speaks words of kufr; does he have to do anything?My question is: I am a young girl of 19 years who has received a proposal. He was my senior in high school and unfortunately we had a short lived haram relationship of talking to each other unlawfully. We both repented and he wants to marry me. His father is an apostate suffering from Bipolar type 2 disorder and Obsessive compulsive disorder. I read that OCD patients suffer from religious obsessions about the devil. Is he accountable for his apostasy due to his mental illness? secondly, he wants to know how to deal with this situation in the correct way as well as the rest of the family. his mother still lives with his father. Due to his illness, the father also caused financial ruin (linked to bipolar 2). What are the rights of the family in this case and the rights of the father over them? He is extremely non compliant with treatment. Lastly, if i do marry him, what kind of relationship should I and our children have with his father?
She is annoyed by the constant demands from her husband’s father for financial support even though he is able to work and earn a livingI want to know if it is right to support my husbands parents even though we both make $3000 a month. We have 2 daughters and owe $3600 debt. I dont know if there is a rule of having money for emergency, but our surplus after deductions is $1000. I am a female and make $1500. My husband makes$1500. Now, consider he is supposed to support me and my daughters without my salary although I still put it in the house. His father is 43 and lives in europe. They say we have to support them. He has 2 other sons (22,25years old), one is married and my husbands father has 2 twin daughters (14 years old). They do not think to save money for winter, because that's how they live their. They dont work winter because there is no work. His father smokes 3 packs a day. His mother and all of them want to have things or buy make up and stuff. Too modest. If i did that, i would not have money for rent too. I dont buy make up and etc. They pay rent $170 dollars a month. They live in an apartment. They recently turned down a job beause they dont want to work 7 days a week baking bread at a bakery which pays 300 euros. That is a good salary there. Overall, My question is, Is it right or wrong to support HIS parents only, although they are making bad decisions and are capable of working? His parents only, father and mother, others not. the quran says to make your parents happy? I am not sure if I have to support them even though they are still ok to work. They just dont want to work. They do construction during summer and dont want to work anything else. I dont own a house, I want to buy a house for my kids, if i support them then i cant do anything. I live in an apartment.
What is the ruling if a child commits suicide before the age of puberty?If your a teenager or child and you commit suicide where would you go.
What should we do if my maternal aunt and her husband are trying to cause trouble for us and hurt us?My mums sister and her husband keep causing trouble for us. My mum and dad have mashAllah brought us all up to keep good relations with everyone even if they are not good to us. My mum's sister and her husband are making our lives hell, they want us to hate everyone they hate in our family and not speak to everyone and basically break off ties with everyone. If we are nice to anyone, they keep phoning us and telling us off for being nice or they say it to our faces. My mum and I are getting very ill over this. I suffer with anxiety and panic attacks and she is making me so ill, she keeps making me cry, I get panic attacks because I am scared she may harm me or my family. We can't afford to move away. What should we do? My patience is wearing thin. I want to be good to everyone but my mum's sister won't let us.
His wife committed zina twice with a Christian man; should he divorce her? If she apostatises will there be any sin on him?A man want to divorce his wife after she committed adultery for the second time with a christian man. He had forgive her the first time and now after she had travelled , she had committed adultery for the second time with another christian man but the husband this time want to divorce her because he is an Islamic teacher and he fears for his reputation. But he fears if he divorce this woman she will leave Islam and go back to Christianity and also she does not want to wear hijab but pray and fast . they have grown up children. Please advise The husband does not want to be responsible for the wife leaving Islam.
She wants to imagine married life in the futureI know that hanging out with boys, getting to know them and making friends with them is haraam. I have never – praise be to Allah – been friends with a boy or hung out with him, and I do not intend to do that either. But my question is: is it permissible for a girl to imagine her married life in the future, such as imagining how the family will be, and the emotional connection between her and her husband, work, children and so on?
She became Muslim but her husband did not; is it allowed for her not to stop living with him because of his poor health and her financial situation?I have been a Muslimah for the past 6 years, alhamdulillah. I came to Islam after almost 20 years of marriage. My son who is 11 years old is also a Muslim. I am bringing him up under the teachings of Islam. However, his father is not a Muslim and I know that according to Shariah Law my marriege was broken from the moment that I took my shahadah. HIs father does not practice any religion and he does not want to learn about Islam. We still live in the same house but we stopped sharing the same bed for a long time.We dont have intimacy at all. My son's father is also a disable due a car accident years back. We share the same house but I deal with him more as a caregiver. I think many times about living this house so I could have more freedom to practice my religion,including wearing the hijab when I go out with him, but I don't have the courage to leave him because of his condition and I also can't support myself. My parents are poor and I don't have much education and I also worry about my son. Please send me an advice concerning this situation and tell me if is a major sin for me not to go out with a hijab with my husband when he forced me not to do it. I wear the full hijab all the time when I am alone, but once I stepped out of the house with him, he tells me to removed it.
She has become flabby because of losing weight; can she have surgery to lift her breasts?I am a 24 year old sister. I am not married and also have no kids. I used to loose a lot of weight the last year. That makes my breast hang although i have no kids and giving no breastfeeding. That makes my mind very sick especially when i think what the man will think which i will marry inshaaAllah. Is it halal to make a breastlifting means like just liftiing the skin but without implantations, so that the breast will not hang and to make it just with the intention (niyya) to please the husband and to protect him from fitan, like looking at other women?.
She has hidden her Islam for several years, and her family want to get her married to a Christian! What should she do?A girl that I know who embraced Islam several years ago and has been practising it secretly for fear of her family who hate Islam. At that time she was engaged to be married to a Christian boy, but the marriage did not go through. Now her parents are preparing to arrange another marriage for her, and she does not want to get married because she does not want to leave Islam, and as you know marriage to a non-Muslim is haraam. How should she deal with this problem? Will she become a kaafir if she marries him? Is it permissible for her to run away from home, because this is what she is planning as a solution. What is your opinion? What is my role as a young Muslim man who knows this girl and the situation she is in? She is in a very bad situation and she is afraid to go to Islamic organizations for fear that the news might spread and affect her family's reputation.
A young man wants to follow the Sunnah but his father is Shi’i and wants to prevent him from following true guidance. What advice can you give?I am 15 years old and I have just begun to adhere to the teachings of Islam. The only source I have for learning the religion is Islamic sites on the Internet, like this site of yours, because I do not have anyone who can take me to the mosque, which is 5 miles away from where I live and walking there is very dangerous. In addition to that, my father wants to prevent me from using the Internet so that I will focus more on my studies. He also hates me to read or learn from your site, because he is Shi’i and he says that you will brainwash me. He is insisting on teaching me the Shi’i madhhab, and even their way of praying which I find is very different from the way other Muslims pray. I do not know what I should do now. Can you advise me?.