He divorced her in anger several times

Question: 184851

I got married more than two years ago. I have divorced my wife on several occasions. The first time, I issued two talaaqs in a text message whilst she was in India and I was in the United States waiting for her to join me. I was angry at that time because of an argument that we had, but I did not intend to go through with the divorce. I have read that if the intention of divorce is not there, then a written divorce is not counted as such. Is this correct? On the second occasion, I issued two consecutive talaaqs for the same reasons as mentioned above, but this time she was with me and the divorce was issued directly, face-to-face; I was also angry at that time. Here I should point out that I am a man who is quick to anger, and when I get angry I lose control of myself and my words. On the third occasion, I issued three consecutive talaaqs, and I was so angry [that I did not know what I was saying]; I was more angry than on the first two occasions. I was not thinking straight, and I cannot remember exactly what had happened that pushed me to do that. I never intended to let her go; all I wanted to do was scare her and make her realize that the situation was critical. What should I do now?

Answer

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah and his family.

Firstly:

A written divorce counts as such so long as there is the intention to divorce. So if a man writes words of divorce but does not intend it as such – rather he intends to alarm and scare his wife – it does not count as such. See the answer to question no. 72291.

Secondly:

A divorce issued in anger is subject to further discussion, as has been explained in the answers to questions no. 96194 and 22034.

To sum up, in the event of extreme anger in which a man does not know what he is saying, divorce does not count as such. The same applies to extreme anger that prompts and compels a man to utter words of divorce, even if he is aware of what he is saying.

As for mild anger which does not have an impact on a man’s will such that it compels him to utter words of divorce, in this case the divorce does count as such.

If he issues three or two divorces in one go, then it counts as one talaaq according to the more correct scholarly view.

It seems from your question that the last divorce did not count as such.

As for the divorce that came before it, then according to the details mentioned, if the anger that accompanied it was extreme, as we have described, then that divorce also does not count as such, but if the anger was mild, then it counts as one talaaq.

What you must do is fear Allah, may He be exalted, and restrain your tongue and avoid uttering words of divorce when you are angry, because divorce was not prescribed for this, and you are exposing your household to destruction and ruin.

And Allah knows best.

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