He said to her before consummation of the marriage and after being alone with her: “I don’t want you any more”, and he does not remember what his intention was

Question: 185490

I did a marriage contract with a righteous Muslim woman, and that was around two years ago. I am very hot-tempered, and as time went by she did something that made me very angry, to the point that I said something about her such as “I don’t need you any more” or “I don’t want you any more” and the like…. But now I do not know whether I said these words with the intention of divorce or not. The problem is that there has now happened between me and her what usually happens between spouses of being alone together, and other things that happen. I have repeated these words on several occasions, I do not know how many, and I am afraid that she may have become haraam to me because of what I said on those difficult occasions on which I in such a state of extreme anger that I broke several telephones during those arguments!

I hope that you can advise me about this situation that I think about night and day.

Answer

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah and his family.

Your saying to your wife “I don’t need you any more” or “I don’t want you any more” does not come under the heading of clear statements of divorce (talaaq). Rather they come under the heading of metaphors for divorce, and the correct view is that metaphors for divorce do not count as such, unless they are accompanied by the intention of divorce, whether those words were said in the context of an argument or otherwise.

If you intended divorce by saying these words, then it counts as a divorce, and it is revocable according to a number of scholars, because you had been alone with her. Please see the answer to question no. 118557.

If you did not intend divorce, or you did not know what your intention was, or you were uncertain about it, then it does not count as a divorce, because the basic principle is that there was no such intention (unless you are certain of the opposite).

Secondly:

Divorce issued in a state of anger is subject to further discussion, as has been explained previously in the answer to question no. 45174. From this it is known that no divorce occurs in a case of severe anger which pushes a person to divorce and, if it were not the anger, he would not have uttered the word of divorce.

If what you said was accompanied by such extreme anger, then the divorce does not count as such, even if you intended it.

Our advice to you is to fear Allah, may He be exalted, and to handle your affairs with deliberation and wisdom, and avoid using the word of divorce, whether explicit or otherwise.

And Allah knows best.

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