Her husband engaged in foreplay with her in Ramadan, and she thought to let him have intercourse with her so that he would break his fast and be sinning! Did she break her fast with this intention?

Question: 207360

There is a woman whose husband engaged in foreplay with her after Fajr in Ramadan, and she said to him: Leave me alone so that I do not break my fast. But he persisted despite her request. Then she turned her back on him and ignored him, and she said to herself: Let him do whatever he wants, so that my fast will be broken but he will take the sin. And after she said that to herself, he left her alone and did not do anything. But when she thought that, her only intention was that he alone should take the sin, and she did not intend to break her fast or to eat or drink. I am afraid that what I thought may be a cause of my fast being spoiled, if I truly intended to break the fast because of that, or it was a mere thought.

I hope that you will give a detailed reply about the nature of my intention to break the fast for this reason, or was it mere thoughts.

Also, sometimes I am faced with waswaas concerning my intention or the validity of my fast, so please advise me.

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah and his family.

Firstly:

If a person intends to break his fast whilst he is fasting,
and has decided to do so, and is not hesitant about it, his fast is rendered
invalid according to the correct opinion, even if he changes his mind about
that intention, and he has to make up that day.

But if he is hesitant about breaking the fast, or makes it
conditional upon something, such as if he says: If I find food or drink, I
will break my fast, then he does not find anything, in that case his fast is
still valid.

Ash-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) was
asked:

A man was travelling and fasting in Ramadan, and he intended
to break his fast, but he could not find anything with which to break his
fast. Then he changed his mind about that intention and completed the fast
until Maghrib. Is his fast valid?

He replied:

His fast is not valid and he has to make it up, because when
he intended to break the fast, he broke the fast. But if he had said: If I
find water, I will drink it, otherwise I will continue my fast, and he did
not find water, in this case his fast is still valid, because he did not
definitely intend to break it; rather he made breaking the fast conditional
upon the availability of something, and that thing did not become available,
so his original intention remained in effect.

End quote from Liqa al-Bab al-Maftooh (29/20).

What appears to be the case is that what happened with you is
the latter: in other words, you made breaking the fast conditional upon your
husband continuing with this matter, which he did not do. Intending to break
the fast is one thing, and making it conditional upon something that did not
happen is something else, on which the ruling is different.

Based on that, your fast is valid and you do not have to make
it up.

But if you did intend to break the fast, or you think it most
likely now that this was your intention, then your fast was invalidated and
you have to make up that day.

If you feel something like that in your heart and you want to
be on the safe side and fast another day to make up for that day, then this
is good, in sha Allah.

Please see the answer to question no. 95766.

But if you are usually affected by waswas regarding your
intention or the validity of acts of worship, then do not repeat the fast of
that day, and assume that it was valid. Beware of getting carried away with
waswas, for this leads to much trouble and evil, and will not stop until it
spoils a person’s worship and his religious commitment as a whole.

There have been many answers on our website that warn against
getting carried away with waswas.

Secondly:

If a man is able to control himself and prevent himself from
getting carried away and transgressing the limits of Allah by having
intercourse or ejaculating, then it is permissible for him whilst fasting to
engage in intimacy with his wife by embracing her, kissing her and so on.

Please see the answer to question no. 49614.

Thirdly:

It is not permissible for a woman to try to make her husband
fall into a haram action, or to approve of that. Rather what she must do is
stop him and prevent him from doing that to the best of her ability. The
Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever
among you sees an evil action, then let him change it with his hand [by
taking action]; if he cannot, then with his tongue [by speaking out]; and if
he cannot, then with his heart – and that is the weakest of faith.”
Narrated by Muslim (49).

Letting your husband do that, without trying to stop him, so
that he would do something forbidden, commit sin and be exposed to the
punishment of Allah in the month of mercy is a haram aim and striving to
make someone commit an act of disobedience to Allah, or approving thereof.
Ash-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

The one who sees someone eating or drinking in Ramadan, and
knows that he is fasting, should remind him, because if he forgot then he is
excused, but you did not forget. Allah, may He be exalted, says
(interpretation of the meaning): “Help
you one another in Al‑Birr and At‑Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety)”
[al-Maidah 5:2].

Al-Liqa ash-Shahri
(70/44)

If this is obligatory with regard to all people, then how
about if it is one’s husband? Undoubtedly in this case it is even more
obligatory, and his rights over you are more emphasized.

So you must repent and seek forgiveness, and not do such a
thing again. You should be the best helper to your husband in matters
pertaining both to this world and the Hereafter, therefore, if you see him
committing a sin or wanting to commit a sin, you should tell him not to do
that and remind him of Allah.

And Allah knows best.

Source:

Islam Q&A

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