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Should he leave home because of his sisters’ bad behaviour?

Question: 21356

My life has fallen into a great difficulty. my sisters have behaved badly. because of this, my father does not want to stay with us so is living in pakistan. but my sisters have got round my mother and they will not repent for their evil ways. my iman has become a joke for them. they have haram relationships. in their ignorance they taunt me that i will marry my cousin and they say it is illegal. i feel evil all around me. i am slowly becoming an outcast in my family just as my father became. i am losing my mind. i have no inner peace and when i do it doesnt last. i feel helpless. every day is a difficulty for me. i have conditioned myself to cope with the terrible situations in my family. i feel stressed. i cannot concentrate on anything.

 please brother can you give me some advice – should i leave home? should i stay with my father in Pakistan? please can you tell me if Allah is testing me or cleansing me of my sins.

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah and his family.

Firstly: 

Your father made a grave mistake when he left the house and
went back to his own country. Allaah has entrusted him with something and he
has neglected that trust. What he should have done was to stay with his
children in order to discipline them, look after them and take care of their
affairs. Perhaps it is your father’s leaving that made your sisters’
behaviour even worse. 

So we advise you, first of all, to convince your father, as a
matter of necessity, to come back to his wife and children, so that he can
take care of them and discipline them, or for all of them to join him in
Pakistan – even if that is done by force or by trickery – and perhaps that
would be better, because your staying in that land where there is kufr,
evildoing and moral laxity is what is affecting your sisters’ attitude and
behaviour. 

Secondly: 

Your mother, likewise, has to fear Allaah with regard to her
daughters and not give them free rein. Now she has taken on a heavy burden
of responsibility, especially since your father has left. So she should not
take things lightly with regard to her daughters. Your mother has to realize
the seriousness of what your sisters are doing and the damage their actions
may do to all of you in this world, and the sin which will be upon them in
the Hereafter and upon those who approved of their actions or who allowed
them to do that and made it easy for them to do evil actions. 

Thirdly: 

You have to be patient and to give thought to every action
before you do it. Staying with them is not entirely good, and leaving them
is not entirely good. Rather the matter depends on the effects of your
staying and the effects of your leaving. If your staying in the home will
affect your religious commitment and your sanity, and make you fall into
sin, then we advise you to leave. If your leaving will make their behaviour
worse and your staying will not affect your religious commitment and sanity,
then it is haraam for you to leave, because your leaving may make the sin
worse, which would mean that you were neglecting your responsibility and
being careless about that which has been entrusted to you. 

Fourthly: 

Perhaps this is a test from Allaah for you, to expiate for
your bad deeds and to raise you in status, not a punishment. Hence we advice
you to be patient, not to make any hasty decisions, to make du’aa’ and to
beseech your Lord to guide your sisters to be good and chaste. We advise you
to look for means of guiding them such as getting them married, looking for
good sisters for them to mix with, moving house, and so on. Perhaps when
Allaah sees that you are sincere, He will help you and will guide your
sisters and your mother, and will unite the family in religious commitment
and goodness. For He is able to do that and He is the Guide to the Straight
Path. 

We will tell you the following story, from which you may
learn a lesson: 

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: I used to call my
mother to Islam when she was a mushrikah. I called her one day and she said
something about the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) that I did not like to hear. So I went to the Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) weeping, and said,
“O Messenger of Allaah, I have been calling my mother to Islam, but she
refuses. I called her today and she said something about you that I did not
like to hear. Pray to Allaah to guide the mother of Abu Hurayrah.” The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said,
“O Allaah, guide the mother of Abu Hurayrah.” I went out feeling optimistic
because of the du’aa’ of the Prophet of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him). When I came home and reached the door, I saw that it
was slightly ajar. My mother heard my footsteps and said, “Stay where you
are, O Abu Hurayrah!” and I could hear the trickling of water. She took a
bath and got dressed, and put on her headcover, then she opened the door and
said, “O Abu Hurayrah, I bear witness that there is no god except Allaah,
and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger!” I went back to
the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him),
and I came to him weeping with joy. I said, “O Messenger of Allaah, rejoice,
for Allaah has answered your prayer and guided the mother of Abu Hurayrah.”
So he praised Allaah and said good words. I said, “O Messenger of Allaah,
pray to Allaah to make my mother and me beloved to His believing slaves, and
to make them beloved to us.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “O Allaah, make this slave of Yours –
meaning Abu Hurayrah – and his mother beloved to Your believing slaves, and
make the believers beloved to them.” So there are no believing people who
hear of me even though they do not see me, but they love me.

 Narrated by Muslim, 2491

 And Allaah knows best.

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