Her brother committed suicide and she is asking serious questions about the will of Allah

In dealing with these questions we must note three things, which are: 

1 – Everything happens by the will and decree of Allah. Everything that happens in this universe, good or bad, happens by the decree of Allah, under His control and by His will, for there is no lord except Him and no controller besides Him. 

2 – We must believe that He is wise in all that He decrees, for His is the utmost wisdom in all that happens in this universe, whether we understand that or not. Indeed, much of Allah’s wisdom cannot be comprehended by the minds of His slaves. So we must submit to Allah, by believing that His wisdom is perfect. It is not permissible for us to object to Him, whether that means objecting to His laws or to His decrees. 

3 – Suicide is a major sin and a bad end. The one who kills himself in order to escape calamities or poverty or the results of distress or anger has, by doing that, exposed himself to the punishment of Allah. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“… And do not kill yourselves (nor kill one another). Surely, Allah is Most Merciful to you.

And whoever commits that through aggression and injustice, We shall cast him into the Fire, and that is easy for Allah” [al-Nisa’ 4:29-30]

And it was narrated in al-Saheehayn that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever kills himself with a piece of iron, that iron will be in his hand and he will be stabbing himself in the stomach with it in Hell for ever and ever. Whoever kills himself with poison, that poison will be in his hand and he will be drinking it in Hell…” 

Whatever happened in this case, we must refer the matter to Allah. What appears to be the case is that what happened was suicide, because he hung himself, i.e., he tied a rope around his neck and strangled himself. So either he committed suicide or he wanted to commit suicide. And Allah knows best. 

As for the righteousness of the parents, this does not mean that Allah will not test them with some calamities, so as to show their patience and so as to erase thereby their sins. For the believer’s whole affair is good: if something good happens to him he gives thanks for it, and that is good for him, and if something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him, and this applies only to the believer. So being tested with calamities does not mean that the believer is insignificant before Allah if he is righteous and obeys Allah. For belief in Allah, obeying Him and fearing Him are the means that lead to one being honoured by Allah, and kufr, immorality and disobedience are the means that lead to one being regarded as worthless by Allah. Whoever is tested with some calamity and bears that with patience, that will raise him in status. Calamities are of different kinds, it may be a sickness, or loss of wealth, or loss of a loved one such as a son, brother, father, husband or wife. Allah tests His slaves with ease and with calamities, with good and bad, as Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“and We shall make a trial of you with evil and with good. And to Us you will be returned”[al-Anbiya’ 21:35]

If the suicide stemmed from ignorance and the person was righteous and obeyed Allah, and prayed regularly, then there is the hope that Allah may forgive him, for He is the Most Merciful of those who show mercy. However, if he knew of the ruling on suicide, but he resorted to that in order to get rid of a problem from which he was suffering, then there is the danger that he is included in the warning of the punishment narrated in the hadeeth. But nevertheless he was still a believer in Allah and His Messenger and a follower of Tawheed, not a mushrik, so he is subject to the will of Allah. If Allah wills He will forgive him, and if He wills he will punish him, but even if He punishes him He will eventually bring him forth from the Fire, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Verily, Allah forgives not that partners should be set up with Him (in worship), but He forgives except that (anything else) to whom He wills”[al-Nisa’ 4:48]

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Everyone who says Laa ilaaha ill-Allah (there is no god except Allah) and has an atom’s-weight of faith in his heart will be brought forth from the Fire.” 

With regard to his washing and preparation for burial, and his good appearance, that may indeed be a sign that his situation is good, that the consequences will be good for him and that he is excused and forgiven by his Lord. But we cannot be certain about any of these things, although these signs may give us hope. If the one who committed suicide was a Muslim, a follower of Tawheed and one who prayed regularly, then we can show kindness towards him by praying for forgiveness for him and asking Allah to forgive him his sins, and to forgive him for whatever he did to himself that ended up in suicide. 

With regard to what is said in the question criticizing the way which Allah chose for him to die, this is a kind of objecting to the decree of Allah. Allah is the One Who decrees; He is the Creator of all things, and all things are subject to His decree. He is the Most Wise, the All-Knowing, but whatever action is done that goes against His law cannot be justified by saying that this is the decree of Allah. Whatever happens in the universe of such events does not mean that it is permissible to object to the decree of Allah, rather we are obliged to believe in the Divine decree and in the Wisdom of the Lord, may He be glorified and exalted.