Ruling on marrying an atheist

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
encouraged us to marry those who are religiously-committed, because
basically women are weak and may change their beliefs and thoughts and even
their religion for the slightest reason. So you should not have even
considered marrying one whose religious commitment was not great, let alone
marrying one who has no religious commitment at all, on the grounds that you
would be able to guide him. 

Marriage to an atheist is invalid and the marriage contract
is basically null and void. It is not permissible for a woman who believes
in Allaah and the Last Day to enter into such an invalid marriage on the
grounds that this man may possibly be guided after marriage. She should have
done what the great Sahaabi woman Umm Sulaym did when she refused to marry
Abu Talhah – who was a kaafir at the time – unless he became Muslim, and he
did so. This was the greatest mahr (dowry) in Islam as Anas (may Allaah be
pleased with him) said. (al-Nasaa’i, 3341; classed as saheeh by
al-Albaani). 

The evidence that the marriage of a Muslim woman to a kaafir
man is invalid is very clear. This is one of the matters on which there is
unanimous agreement among all the scholars of the ummah. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): 

“O you who believe! When
believing women come to you as emigrants, examine them; Allaah knows best as
to their Faith, then if you ascertain that they are true believers send them
not back to the disbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the
disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them. But give
them (disbelievers) that (amount of money) which they have spent (as their
Mahr) to them. And there will be no sin on you to marry them if you have
paid their Mahr to them. Likewise hold not the disbelieving women as wives…”

[al-Mumtahanah 60:10]

“And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they
believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is
better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you.
And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon till they believe
(in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free)
Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite
you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His
Leave, and makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs,
revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember”

[al-Baqarah 2:221]

What your husband says and attributes to Islam is definitely
false. Islam is not only for the time when the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) was sent, rather he (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) was sent to all of mankind until the Hour
begins. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And We have not sent you (O Muhammad) except as a giver
of glad tidings and a warner to all mankind, but most of men know not”

[Saba’ 34:28] 

“Say (O Muhammad): “O mankind! Verily, I am sent to you
all as the Messenger of Allaah — to Whom belongs the dominion of the heavens
and the earth. Laa ilaaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but
He). It is He Who gives life and causes death. So believe in Allaah and His
Messenger (Muhammad), the Prophet who can neither read nor write (i.e.
Muhammad), who believes in Allaah and His Words [(this Qur’aan), the Tawraat
(Torah) and the Injeel (Gospel) and also Allaah’s Word: “Be!” — and he was,
i.e. ‘Eesa (Jesus) son of Maryam (Mary)], and follow him so that you may be
guided”

[al-A’raaf 7:158]

It was narrated that
Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger
of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I have
been given five things which were not given to any of the Prophets before
me: I have been supported with fear to a distance of a month’s travelling;
the earth has been made a place of prostration and a means of purification
for me, so that wherever a man of my ummah is when the time for prayer
comes, he may pray; war booty has been made permissible for me; the
(previous) Prophets were sent only to their own people but I have been sent
to all of mankind; and I have been given the power of intercession.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 438; Muslim, 432. 

Your husband’s belief that “the important thing is our hearts
should be clean. It doesn’t matter if we drink or gamble” is a false notion.
If the heart is clean and pure then the effects of that should be seen in a
person’s outward actions. Outward righteousness is a sign of inward
righteousness, and outward corruption is a sign of inward corruption. How
can his heart be clean if he drinks alcohol or gambles or commits immoral
actions? This is impossible. 

It was narrated that al-Nu’maan ibn Basheer said: I heard the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say:
“What is permitted is obvious and what is forbidden is obvious, and between
them are doubtful matters about which not many people know. Thus he who
avoids doubtful matters clears himself with regard to his religious
commitment and his honour, but he who falls into doubtful matters falls into
that which is forbidden, like a shepherd who pastures around a sanctuary,
all but grazing therein. Truly every king has a sanctuary and Allaah’s
sanctuary is His prohibitions. And in the body there is a piece of flesh
which, if it be whole, all the body is whole, and if it is diseased, all the
body is diseased: it is the heart.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 52; Muslim,
1599. 

Conclusion: This marriage of yours is invalid and it is not
permissible to allow him to be intimate with you unless he comes back to
Islam and enters the faith by pronouncing the Shahaadatayn and following the
rulings of Islam. If he does not do that then the marriage must be annulled
in a sharee’ah court. If you cannot do that or if there is no sharee’ah
court where you live, then you should ask him for a divorce. If he refuses
then you should divorce him by means of khula’, returning his mahr or more
or less so that you can be separated. 

And Allaah knows best.