(How should she interact with her son whom they abandoned in the hospital as an infant because he was sick and now he is resentful?)

First of all, we will not hide anything from you or keep
quiet about our feelings. We are shocked by what you and your husband did to
your newborn infant.

You abandoned him in the hospital… You left him… And you
carried on with your lives… without any sense of responsibility before
Allah, first of all, then before yourselves and before society.

You went home and carried on with your lives, as if nothing
happened, and you never shed a tear!

You carried on with your lives, as if nothing had ever
happened, when he was your baby.

Let us assume that he died – would he not have deserved that
you should bury him, then carry on with your lives?

But Allah decreed something else for your child.

Allah, the Most Kind, the Most Merciful, sent to him someone
who would take care of your child in a way that most parents do not take
care of their children.

Allah showed kindness to him, and sent this doctor to him,
whose like is rarely ever found.

So tell me, by your Lord, how many people are there who are
patient with their sick child, get medical treatment for him, look after
him, raise him to adulthood, educate him, discipline him and teach him the
Qur’an?

Glory be to the One who sent this doctor to this little one
who had no hope of life and no hope of anyone to look after him!

Glory be to the One Who replaced his father with someone
better than his father, and replaced his family with a family better than
his family, and a place to live better than his own home, when he was still
an infant, sick, with no hope of living or being of benefit, and no hope of
anything good being expected from him.

Then this blessing, this free gift, came to you as a boy,
having been educated, at the age of ten, and his doctor and caregiver told
you that you are his family, his mother and his father, and he was only a
trustee who had done his duty and had returned the trust to those to whom it
belonged.

“Is there any reward for good
other than good?

Then which
of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinns and men) deny?”

[ar-Rahmaan 55:60].

“He does not show gratitude to Allah, who does not show
gratitude to people.” (Hadith)

Would that you had only failed to give thanks to the one who
gave you for free his efforts and his life and the apple of his eye, who
gave you a son, and said to you: This is your son; he is not of my lineage
and his benefit is not for me (in other words, he is all yours).

And all that he said was: Be kind to us with regard to him,
allow us to meet him, show me some kindness and allow me to keep in touch
with him.

But you refused except to treat him with harshness, and you
responded to his kindness and his gift with the opposite, and you prevented
two people who loved one another from meeting or seeing one another.

May Allah forgive you and guide you; how harsh you were
towards the boy and his caregiver, who was better than his father. How
severe was your lack of appreciation for his kindness and your ingratitude
for this man’s favour!

What did you expect from this child?

Did you think that he would give precedence to the biological
father – whom he did not know and never met or saw for ten long years, until
he grew up and became a young man, having reached the age of discernment and
been educated – or that he would love and honour with all his heart the
“father” whom he knew and who had taken care of him and raised him?!

You did not have to wean him away from the doctor, his
caretaker, in this cruel manner; indeed this was an extremely cruel cutting
off of your child from that compassionate doctor, until he died, without
allowing him to see his child before he departed this world.

Even crueler than that, you tried to erase from his mind all
his remaining memories of the good times with his “family” under whose care
he had grown up.

What harm would it have done you if you had helped him to get
what he wanted and arranged his marriage to that girl?

He wanted to marry her either because he felt an attachment
to her, or he wanted to show gratitude and appreciation for kindness and
form a bond with their family. So what harm would it have done you, may
Allah forgive you?

But all of that is in the past, and what happened has
happened, and Allah decrees whatever He will.

Now, the only reason we have mentioned all of this, is so
that you will realise – you and your husband – how grievous your mistake was
and how it was compounded, one mistake followed by another.

But my Lord is Most Gracious, Most Merciful. So let the first
thing you do be to repent to Allah – you and your husband – from what you
have done:

“And ask forgiveness of your
Lord and turn unto Him in repentance. Verily, my Lord is Most Merciful, Most
Loving”

[Hood 11:90].

You should acknowledge the blessing that your Lord has
bestowed upon you and your husband, when He gave you your son after the
Shaytaan had sown seeds of dissent and prevented the family from reuniting.

“Certainly, my Lord is the Most
Courteous and Kind unto whom He wills. Truly He! Only He is the All-Knowing,
the All-Wise”

[Yoosuf 12:100].

The best expiation for what you failed to do of showing
appreciation and for showing ingratitude instead, is to show the utmost
kindness to this girl whom your son has chosen to be his wife. Show her the
utmost kindness and honour her as much as you can, so that she becomes like
a favoured and beloved daughter to her parents, and even more than that, for
she is your daughter, and if you are people of dignity, you should return
the favour that her father did to your son, if you can ever repay even a
little worth mentioning.

Over and above that, she is the wife of your son, when he is
the one whom you treated as you know. So you must show a great deal of
kindness to them both, and take good care of them both, and try your best to
take care of their well-being.

“Verily, the good deeds remove
the evil deeds (i.e. small sins). That is a reminder (an advice) for the
mindful (those who accept advice)”

[Hood 11:114].

We do not think you have any way to reach your son’s heart or
to bridge the gap, or to bring the family together, except this. So praise
Allah that your son, despite all of that, still possesses a remnant of
sincerity, love of being in touch, and a desire to reunite with his family.

So bring him and his wife close to you, and strive hard to
make him live near you, and keep in touch with them both constantly. Try
hard, you and him, to forget the past and the pain of old memories.

We ask Allah to rectify your situation and reconcile you with
your son and his wife, in the best way.

And Allah knows best.