Please can you issue guidance on the following matter
He did not utter the word of divorce or write it down, but he asked the lawyer to issue the wife a threat of divorce
Question: 261023
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah and his family.
If you did not utter the word of divorce verbally or in writing, and you did not instruct the lawyer to issue a divorce, then no divorce has occurred on your part. If you instructed the lawyer to issue a threat of divorce to your wife, and he did that, that does not count as a divorce either, because a threat of divorce is simply a threat, and does not count as anything unless you carried out your threat and issued a divorce.
The fact that your wife was far away from you during this period, or that she wanted a divorce, or that she went to the court to seek a divorce, does not matter. None of these things constitutes an actual divorce.
Based on that, your marriage is still valid.
But we advise each of you to pay attention to the rights of the other, and to strive to reach an understanding and deal with any matters that may cause dispute.
Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And live with them [wives] in kindness”
[an-Nisa’ 4:19]
“And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]”
[al-Baqarah 2:228].
And the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Treat women well.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3331) and Muslim (1468).
And he said: “The best of you are those who are best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.” Narrated by at-Tirmidhi (3895) and Ibn Maajah (1468). Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh at-Tirmidhi.
And he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “If I were to instruct anyone to prostrate to anyone else, I would have instructed women to prostrate to their husbands, because of the rights that Allah has given them over them.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2140), at-Tirmidhi (1159) and Ibn Maajah (1852). Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
And he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (of Ramadan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise by whichever of its gates she wishes.” Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan (4163). Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami‘ no. 660.
We ask Allah to guide you both.
And Allah knows best.
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