She used to do the “secret habit” when fasting, out of ignorance

Question: 82740

I am sending you this letter on behalf of my friend who needs someone to advise her. When she was a small child she was abused by one of her father’s friends who used to come and wait for him, and he forced her to be intimate with him when she was five years old, and she thought that this was something new, but he must have been a pervert. This led to her doing that all her life, without realizing what it is. Is that what is called the “secret habit”? This need would come to her when she was fasting and she would do it. When she does it she feels compelled to do it, because that is what she had been accustomed to all her life. Are the fasts of those days not valid? Is the expiation only to fast, since she did not know anything that was called the secret habit?

Please pray for healing for her.

My question is:

1 – How can she expiate for committing this sin whilst fasting?

2 – How can she be healed of this thing?

3 – She recites Qur’aan before she sleeps but feels that she needs to do that.

She is 34 years old and is not married.

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah and his family.

Firstly:

We ask
Allaah to forgive and pardon your friend, and to heal her from this disease,
and to bless her with a righteous husband and righteous offspring, for He is
Able to do that, may He be exalted.

Secondly:

What her
father’s friend did is a serious offence and a major crime against this
child. He is an evil pervert who has wronged both father and daughter. We
ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound. There is no sin on her for what
happened to her, because she was not accountable at that time.

Wise people
learn a lesson from such calamities. A man should be careful about the
friends to whom he entrusts his secrets and his household. Some of them may
appear to be sincere friends, but in fact they are among the devils of
mankind. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
advised us of that when he said: “Do not keep company with anyone but a
believer and do not let anyone but a pious person eat your food.” Narrated
by al-Tirmidhi (2395), classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh
al-Tirmidhi.

Thirdly:

What is
meant by the “secret habit” or masturbation is playing with the private
parts and provoking desire to the point of climax, whether that is using the
hand or some other means. This is an evil habit and a haraam action. The
evidence for its being haraam is explained in the answer to question no.
329, which also includes
suggestions for treating this disease.

Fourthly:

If a person
does the “secret habit” whilst fasting, and semen is emitted, then his fast
is invalidated according to the majority of scholars, but if he was unaware
that that invalidates the fast, is his fast invalidated and does he have to
make it up?

There is a
difference of opinion among the fuqaha’ on this point. A group of scholars,
including Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) are of
the view that it does not invalidate his fast. This view was also favoured
by Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him). You will find this
explained in more detail in the answer to question no.
50017.

This sister
should pray a great deal for forgiveness and do a lot of acts of worship,
and she should avoid haraam things and adhere to righteousness, so that
Allaah may forgive her, as Allaah has promised (interpretation of the
meaning):

“And
verily, I am indeed forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness,
and associates none in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and
then remains constant in doing them (till his death)”

[Ta-Ha
20:82]

Fifthly:

Marriage –
as is the case with all of a person’s affairs – is subject to the decree of
Allaah, and it is not known what is better, delaying it or hastening it. A
person has to accept Allaah’s decree and submit to it, and follow the means
that lead to provision and relief from distress, which include making du’aa’
and praying and obeying Allaah. See also question no.
21234.

May Allaah
help us all to do that which He loves and which pleases Him.

And Allaah
knows best.

Source:

Islam Q&A

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