”Giving” a Child to Someone Else to Raise

We ask Allaah to honour you
with great reward for upholding ties of kinship with your sister and
honouring her, and we ask Him to decree good and happiness for you in this
world and in the Hereafter. 

We should point out to you
that what is haraam with regard to lineage and children is attributing a
child to someone other than his father and regarding that false lineage as
binding with regard to other shar’i rulings such as inheritance, marriage
and rights. 

As you intend to avoid
these haraam things, there is nothing wrong with you doing what is
permissible, in sha Allaah. If your sister wants to raise your son and keep
him with her to ease her loneliness and make up for the blessing of having a
child that she has missed out on, that is permissible, in sha Allaah, and
you will have reward for that with Allaah.  

It is well known that
adoption was permitted at the beginning of Islam, then there came the texts
which prohibited it and enjoined that children should be attributed to their
fathers, and it is haraam to attribute them to anyone but their fathers. But
that does not rule out love, brotherhood, care and upbringing. 

The scholars of the
Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas discussed the issue of adoption and
the fact that it is forbidden in sharee’ah, then they said:  

From the above it is clear
that banning adoption does not mean banning sublime feelings and Islamic
rights such as brotherhood, love, upholding the ties of kinship, kind
treatment and all other principle that have to do with noble characteristics
and inspiration to do good.  

(a)

A person may say to someone
who is younger than him “O my son” as a way of showing kindness to him and
expressing care and compassion, so that he may feel comfortable with him,
listen to his advice or get him to do something for him. And he may say to
someone who is older than him, “O my father” by way of honouring him and
softening his heart towards him so that he may receive kind treatment and
sincere advice from him, and he may get his support and help. Thus good
manners will prevail in society and the ties between people with be
strengthened, and all people will feel a sense of sincere brotherhood in
humanity and faith.  

(b)

Islam encourages us to
cooperate in righteousness and piety, and it exhorts all people to love one
another and treat one another kindly. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):  

“Help you one another in
Al‑Birr and At‑Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety); but do not help one
another in sin and transgression”

[al-Maa’idah 5:2]

and the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The likeness of the believers in
their mutual love, mercy and compassion is that of the body; if one part of
it feels pain, the entire body joins it in fever and sleeplessness.”
Narrated by Ahmad and Muslim. 

And he said: “The believers
are like a single structure, parts of which support others.” Narrated by
al-Bukhaari, Muslim, al-Tirmidhi and al-Nasaa’i. 

That includes taking care
of orphans, the needy, those who are unable to earn a living and those whose
fathers are not known, by looking after them, bringing them up and taking
care of them, so that there will be no one in society who is suffering or
neglected, and that will help the ummah (wider community) to avoid the bad consequences of
children being brought up in a very bad way, who may rebel against society
because they feel that they have been harshly treated or ignored by society.
Muslim governments should set up homes for the unemployed, orphans,
foundlings and those who have no breadwinner, and those who come under the
same rulings as them. If the bayt al-maal (treasury) does not have enough funds to take
care of their needs, then they should seek help from those members of the
ummah who are well off. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: “Any believer who leaves behind wealth, it is to be
inherited by his kin if he has kin, and whoever leaves behind a debt or
dependents, let them come to me for I will take care of them.” Narrated by
al-Bukhaari. End quote. 

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn
Baaz, Shaykh ‘Abd al-Razzaaq ‘Afeefi, Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Ghadyaan,
Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Qa’ood. 

Fataawa al-Lajnah
al-Daa’imah (20/357-359). 

Secondly: 

We should point out two
important matters with regard to this issue: 

1 – You should not call
this action “giving” (in the sense of giving a gift), because you do not own
yourself, let alone your son. All of creation belongs to Allaah and they are
His slaves, so no created being has the right to give that which he does not
own, and the one who does not own something cannot give it.  

Hence we think that you,
your sister and your family should use the word “bring up” or “looking
after”, and say that the paternal aunt of the child is the one who is
bringing him up and looking after him, and you are the one who has handed
over the child to your sister to look after him and take care of him, but it
is a not a gift or a present. 

2 – We do not think that
you should cut off ties completely with your son so that you forget him and
he forgets you and does not ask for you. Rather you should not deprive him
of the rights that he has over you as his father, and you should take an
interest in him and ask about him, so that the bonds of love that Allaah has
created in the hearts of the sons of Adam will continue over the years and
despite distance, because we are afraid that with the passage of time you
may become cut off from your son and that will cause him to feel hurt and
sad, and those feelings may lead to a real severance of ties or
psychological problems which you have no need of, and the main victim of
that will be this son. 

Or the opposite may happen:
when the child begins to understand and discern things, he may want to go
back to his parents and continue to live under their care, which will cause
a great deal of hurt to your sister who brought him up and became attached
to him and spent many years looking after him and taking care of him, then
suddenly she loses this hope after many years.  

If you think it most likely
that these things will happen, then we do not advise you to follow this
path, but we cannot forbid you or tell you not to do it, as there is no
shar’i evidence to that effect. But paying attention to the psychological
aspects of the matter and the possible negative consequences is essential to
avoid hurt and harm. 

We ask Allaah to bless you
with good and guidance. 

And Allaah knows best.