Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah and his family.
We ask Allah to bless you with a righteous wife who can help you with your religious and worldly affairs.
Undoubtedly what befalls the Muslim in this world of problems and trials are nothing but a test from Allah; the one who bears it with patience and seeks reward with Allah will have a great reward from Him, may He be glorified and exalted.
The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Nothing befalls the believer, whether a thorn or anything more than that, but Allah will raise him one degree in status thereby or will erase one sin from him thereby.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5641), Muslim (2573).
You should not give in to this anxiety and you should not accept it; rather you should look for its causes and try to deal with them. Perhaps something that will help you with that is to understand that humans have no power to bring benefit to themselves or to ward off harm; rather even if the ummah were to come together to benefit you with something, they would not benefit you except with something that Allah has decreed for you, and if they were to come together to harm you with something, they would not harm you except with something that Allah has decreed for you; the pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.
Everything is in the hand of Allah, may He be exalted, and He is most deserving to be the focus of your fear and hope. The one who adheres to the command of Allah, may He be exalted, and seeks His help and protection will be the most honourable of people, for Allah, may He be exalted, has decreed honour, power and glory for His believing slaves, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“But honour, power and glory belong to Allah, His Messenger (Muhammad ), and to the believers” [Al-Munaafiqeen 63:8].
If you think that facing people and calling them to Allah will be a means of dispelling this anxiety, then there is nothing wrong with you doing that if you are qualified and able to do it. But we advise you to amend your intention so that your calling people will be for the sake of Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, and not for any other purpose. For Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, is the Healer, so if you are sincere in turning to Him and doing what He has commanded you to do, He will heal you.
It is not essential that your facing the people should be in the form of a khutbah or preaching; rather you can get yourself used to interacting and mixing with people in a good way, especially with those who are sincere and righteous.
What we advise you to do is:
Firstly: think positively of Allah and have faith in Him, turn to Him and put your trust in Him, for He will dispel anxiety and take away worry, as He, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“and whosoever believes in Allah, He guides his heart” [At-Taghaabun 64:11].
Ibn al-Qayyim said: Whoever focuses his heart on his Lord will find peace and tranquillity, but whoever thinks of people will find confusion and anxiety.(Al-Fawaa’id, 1/98)
You have to offer supplication (du‘aa’), for it is the weapon of the believer and it is one of the most effective remedies; it is the enemy of calamity for it wards it off, remedies it, prevents it from happening and removes or alleviates it if it does occur.
Ibn al-Qayyim said in al-Jawaab al-Kaafi, p. 4:
Whoever turns to Allah with sincerity, beseeches Him with du‘aa’ and asks of Him a great deal, Allah will answer his supplication, fulfil his hopes, grant him what he is asking and open to him the gates of goodness and happiness in this world and in the Hereafter.
Strive hard in your du‘aa’ at the times when du‘aa’ is answered, such as the last third of the night, after ‘Asr on Friday, between the adhan and iqaamah, and when prostrating.
Secondly: have confidence that these things that you have mentioned can be treated, improved and changed, but that depends on you having the real desire to change and your implementing the means that will help you to do that.
Thirdly: there is nothing wrong with you seeking the help of some educational books that deal with teaching organisational skills, decision-making, gaining control over feelings of anxiety and shyness, and the art of interacting with people in general.
Fourthly: we advise you to consult a psychologist who deals with mental health and behavioural therapy, especially one who is righteous and religiously committed. We hope that Allah will benefit you thereby and perhaps he will advise you about things that will be good for you and help to improve your situation.
And Allah knows best.
