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He suffers from compulsive waswaas and speaks words of kufr; does he have to do anything?

Question: 200949

My question is: I am a young girl of 19 years who has received a proposal. He was my senior in high school and unfortunately we had a short lived haram relationship of talking to each other unlawfully. We both repented and he wants to marry me. His father is an apostate suffering from Bipolar type 2 disorder and Obsessive compulsive disorder. I read that OCD patients suffer from religious obsessions about the devil. Is he accountable for his apostasy due to his mental illness? secondly, he wants to know how to deal with this situation in the correct way as well as the rest of the family. his mother still lives with his father. Due to his illness, the father also caused financial ruin (linked to bipolar 2). What are the rights of the family in this case and the rights of the father over them? He is extremely non compliant with treatment. Lastly, if i do marry him, what kind of relationship should I and our children have with his father?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah and his family.

Firstly: 

Compulsive waswaas refers to thoughts and bad ideas that come
one after another to a person’s mind even though he does not want them, in
such a way that he cannot rid himself of them, even though he knows and is
certain that they are foolish and unacceptable thoughts. They keep coming to
his mind compulsively, which causes him a great deal of anguish and
distress. 

The remedy for compulsive waswaas and other types of waswaas
is to remember Allah a great deal, obey Him, and turn to Him, beseeching
Him, and seeking refuge with Him; to overlook and ignore the waswaas, and
not let oneself get carried away with it. In some cases there is a need to
consult a doctor. 

See the answers to questions no.
39684 and
90819.

Allah will not punish a person or call him to account for
this waswaas, because it is beyond his control and overwhelms him; it does
not happen by his choice. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of
the meaning):

“Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope”

[al-Baqarah 2:286]

“Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has
given him. Allah will grant after hardship, ease.”

[al-Talaaq 65:7]

 “So keep your duty to Allah and fear Him as much as you
can”

[al-Taghaabun 64:16]. 

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of
Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:
“Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, will forgive my ummah for whatever
crosses their minds so long as they do not act upon it or speak of it.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6664; Muslim,
127. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have
mercy on him) said:

Allah will not punish the one who suffers from compulsive
waswaas, because He, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the
meaning): “our
Lord! Put not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear”
[al-Baqarah 2:286]
and “Allah burdens not a person beyond his
scope” [al-Baqarah 2:286]. But the one who is
suffering from waswaas has to frequently seek refuge with Allah from the
accursed Shaytaan and ignore it; if he does that, then it will depart from
him by Allah’s leave. End quote. 

Fataawa Noor ‘ala ad-Darb, 24/2 

If this man speaks words of kufr (disbelief) and words that
put him beyond the pale of Islam because of this compulsive waswaas, without
being aware of what he is saying or understanding what it means, or he
understands what it means but he did not intend to say it and did not say it
voluntarily – rather he said it under the pressure of this waswaas which
forced him to say it – then he will not be punished for it, because it is
beyond his control. He comes under the same ruling as one who speaks words
of kufr because he is forced to do so. Allah, may He be exalted, says
(interpretation of the meaning):

“Whoever
disbelieved in Allah after his belief, except him who is forced thereto and
whose heart is at rest with Faith but such as open their hearts to
disbelief, on them is wrath from Allah, and theirs will be a great torment”

[an-Nahl 16:106]. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

If he is forced to disbelieve and he disbelieves, but his
heart is at rest with Faith, then he is not deemed to be a disbeliever,
because there is an impediment to doing so, which is that he was forced. End
quote. 

Majmoo‘ Fataawa wa Rasaa’il al-‘Uthaymeen,
3/54 

It says in al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 13/229: 

It is not permissible to describe as a disbeliever one who
was forced to utter words of disbelief when his heart was at rest with
Faith. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“…except him who is forced
thereto and whose heart is at rest with Faith …” [an-Nahl 16:106].
End quote. 

See also the answer to question no.
62839

Based on that, this man is not to be deemed an apostate,
unless he says or does something to indicate disbelief at the time when he
is aware of what he is doing, and he says or does it voluntarily. In that
case he would be deemed an apostate and would bear full responsibility for
his words or deeds. 

Secondly: 

The family’s role towards this poor father may be summed up
as follows: 

1.All the members of the family
have to show patience towards him with regard to unpleasant things that
happen with him, because that is happening without him intending it to.

2.They should strive to find
treatment for him and spend as much as they can on that, and use tricks to
treat him. Many cases of waswaas are in fact cases of sickness that can be
treated by psychologists and the like.

3.They should offer a lot of
supplication and beseech Allah to remove this harm and heal him.

4.Ruqya as prescribed in Islam.
His son, wife or any other family member or other person may perform ruqya
for him as prescribed in Islam. Allah may heal types of chronic sickness by
His grace, by means of Islamically prescribed ruqya from the Qur’an and
Sunnah.

See also the answer to question no.
3476

Thirdly: 

If this suitor is of good character and religiously
committed, then there is nothing wrong with marrying him, whether his father
is healthy or otherwise, and whether he is a Muslim or an apostate. None of
those factors are an impediment to marrying his son, so long as the son is
religiously committed and of good character. 

However we do not think that you should rush to accept such a
person; rather proceeding with caution in the case of such proposals that
may lead to complicated social problems is better, more sensible and wiser. 

You have to let your guardians know about the matter and they
should find out the facts for themselves, so that they can make the right
decision for their daughter. 

If you feel that this will have an impact on your life and
your social relationships, then you are still young, so if you wait for a
more suitable opportunity that is less likely to cause you problems, then
perhaps that is better and more appropriate. 

If you insist on accepting this suitor, and your guardians
agree to it, then you and your husband should have separate accommodation;
that is more likely to avoid problems and keep you away from troubles. 

Moreover, he will be the grandfather of your children and
also your father-in-law, the father of your husband, so you should strive
hard to treat him kindly as much as you can. 

See also the answer to question no.
130935.

For more information, please see the answer to question no.
146463

And Allah knows best.

Source

Islam Q&A

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