Does a son have to obey his father with regard to where he gives his charity?

We put the following question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn
Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen:

“I like to give my charity to charitable organizations but my
father opposes this. He prefers to give it to relatives, and wants to make me do likewise.
Does the hadeeth ‘You and your wealth belong to your father’ also mean that a
father can control his son’s charitable giving?”

He answered, may Allaah preserve him:

“The hadeeth does not mean this, except if the father wants to
take possession of the wealth himself, in which case there is nothing wrong (with him
giving it as he sees fit), provided that this is not a trick to stop his son giving
charity. But we nevertheless advise the son to give the charity to relatives, because this
is preferable.”

The father does not have the right to oblige his son to give his
charity to certain people and to prevent him from giving to others, but it is preferable
for the son to respond to his father’s wishes, so long as he is advising him to do
something good, which is upholding the ties of kinship by financial means. If the amount
of money is large and there are people who need it more than the relatives, then he could
give some of it to his relatives and some to others who are in need, or to Islamic
charitable projects. With regard to the hadeeth, “You and your wealth belong to your
father,” this was reported by Ibn Maajah (may Allaah have mercy on him) in his Sunan
from Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah, who narrated that a man said: “O Messenger of
Allaah, I have wealth and children, but my father wants to take all of my wealth for his
own needs.” He said, “You and your wealth belong to your father.”

(Sunan
Ibn Maajah, no. 2282. It says in al-Zawaa’id: its isnaad is saheeh and its
men are thiqaat according to the conditions of al-Bukhaari).

See also the comments on the hadeeth etc. in Question #4282.

And Allaah knows best.