She is hiding her Islam from her idol-worshipping family and they want her to marry a man who follows their religion; what should she do?

Question: 174695

I have been friends[-nothing more-]with a classmate of my school, its been 9 years since we completed school and we are still in touch, she’s believed in JAINISM, so I gave her DAW’AH, made her realize its wrong to worship Idols, Humans and explained her Islam, Allah,and gave her authentic books, link to your site. She reverted to Islam and is still learning. She being the youngest in family, no one to help her, didn’t disclosed to her family that she’s now a Muslim, the thing is her family asks to her participate in rituals to worship Idols, fast for their God, she makes some or the other reasons but once read their book on the insisting of her mother, is it a sin, if she does it again n again in front of their parents? Also, her parents are looking for her marriage alliance with some JAIN boy, she’s helpless and can’t disclose to her parents that she’s a Muslim now fearing that they might be strict with her, lock her up and may be get her married as early as possible . can she marry a Jain boy and keep her Imaan in heart, for life, to pray secretly, do read Qur’an secretly for life? She can’t even fast in Ramadhan. If her marriage with Jain boy happened. It would be mandatory for her in front of her laws, to pray to idols, fast for their lord etc etc, I’m confused as to what to do now, She fears that in the end, she can’t be a true Muslim and Allah will punish her for that. I told her, Allah is forgiving and merciful and would certainly a make a path for her! please help me O Noble shaikh, she’ll be married by this year end or may be next year beginning. Also, i’m doing as much as possible to make her learn Islam before that as after her marriage I don’t want to continue talking to her, no matter what!

Answer

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah and his family.

Firstly:

We praise Allah, may He be exalted, forhaving enabled that sister to enter Islam, and we congratulate her for thegreatness of this achievement in her life. There is no blessing that can matchthis with which Allah, may He be exalted, has honouredher: that He has saved her from the worship of idols and made her one of thosewho affirm the Oneness of the Creator of the universe. We advise her tocontinually give thanks to Him for this blessing, in her heart and in her wordsand actions. One of the greatest physical acts of gratitude is prayer, followedby adhering to the other Islamic duties as much as she can.

We ask Allah, may He be exalted, todecree for you the reward of her entering Islam and to ransom you from theFire. Although we commend you and pray for good for you, we also advise you tobeware of continuing your relationship with this girl. The fact that you calledher to Islam does not mean that it was permissible for you to form arelationship with her, and now that she has entered Islam it is not permissiblefor you to remain in that relationship. We ask Allah, may He be exalted, toforgive you for what has happened in the past, but we advise you not tocontinue that relationship. This does not mean abandoning this sister; rathershe is a sister (in faith) to all of us and it is her right over us that weshould stand with her and support her, but that should not be by means of adirect personal relationship with her on the part of a man who is not her mahram. Hence you have to put her in touch with sisters whoare seekers of knowledge and committed to Islam, so that she can form afriendship with them. If one of these sisters is your mahram,that is preferable so that she may act as a link between you and her. Youshould also realise that the Shaytaanflows in the son of Adam like blood and that he has his evil ways of causingthose who call people to Islam and strive for the faith to fall into his traps.See the answer to questions no. 26890and 82702

Secondly:

This sister is not obliged, in Islam, todo anything more than she is able to of the obligatory acts of obedience, andshe should focus most on the prayer, because it is the most important of thepractical pillars of Islam. She should pray according to what she is able todo, even if that is by putting Zuhr and ‘Asr, or Maghrib and ‘Isha’, together at the time of either of them. Please seethe answer questions no. 153572 and 100726 for information on prayerfor one who is in a similar situation.

The sister’s intention should be thatall of that is temporary and that there will come a day when – in sha Allah – she will be able to practice her religionopenly and perform the Islamic obligatory duties in the manner prescribed, whenshe is able to do that and Allah has granted a way out from the situation sheis in at present.

Thirdly:

If this sister is compelled to sit withher family and read what they call the “holy book”, there is no blame on her –in sha Allah – for joining them, and she will beexcused because she has been compelled and forced to do that. But she shouldtry hard to select texts that speak of conduct and interactions with others,and not those that have to do with beliefs and Tawheed.

Fourthly:

With regard to her getting married to anidolater who follows the religion of her family, this is undoubtedly haraam and is a serious matter, and we know that this ideais hateful to her. Hence she should do her utmost to prevent this happening byall possible means, until all options are exhausted. If that happens, then shewill have no choice but to tell her family the truth and see what theirreaction will be. If they accept that and let her stay in the house, and do notforce her to marry that idolater or anyone else, then she may stay with them, practising her religion openly and calling others to it;perhaps Allah, may He be exalted, will guide her family or some of them. But ifshe fears for her life if she tells them about it, or she thinks that they willtreat her harshly in a manner that may cause her to give up her religion, orthat they will force her to marry that idolater or someone else, then sheshould leave her family’s house and go to a trustworthy Islamic centre or to atrustworthy Muslim family, so as to preserve her religious commitment and sothat she will meet her Lord believing in Tawheed andIslam. She should realise that many others have gonethrough that before her; those women chose to leave their families, theircountries, their husbands and their children so as to preserve the greatblessing of Islam. We hope that Allah, may He be exalted, will grant her a wayout and make things easy for her. If she is sincere in her du‘aa’,there is the hope that this will happen sooner rather than later.

See also the answers to questions no. 143540, 129423, 69752, 165167

We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to makeher steadfast in her religious commitment and to help her to be patient andseek reward with Him; may He make things easy for her soon and guide her familyto Islam.

And Allah knows best.

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